I know you want someone who loves you. Someone other than your mom, your best friend, or your pet dog. You want someone who is going to love you and all of you. Someone who’s favorite things about you is everything you loathe about yourself. Someone who wants the good, the ugly and everything in between. You watch other couples sickened, but I know it’s because you secretly crave that colorful tide of untapped emotion and your longing to find out. You’re longing for those unnoticed stares and occasional means of affection. Coming from a girl who herself is slightly (okay maybe more than slightly) boy crazy, focus on yourself! You are in school to fulfill and education and find your place in the world. You are not, I repeat NOT paying thousands of dollars to play “Booze and Boys” during your free time.

During this time at college, we as girls are not the only ones trying to find ourselves. Boys, as well, are trying to do the same thing, just maybe in a different way than we plan to. When guys are in college, they are opened up to more well “opportunity” as they call it and when this happens, it’s nearly impossible to find a guy who wants a relationship. The real question is though, which one of us is doing it right? A lot of us as girls come into college wondering if we will be finding “the one”. However, when guys come here they’re looking to have fun and enjoy these years ahead of them and, in all honesty, maybe they’re not so wrong in doing so. They are focusing on themselves and what makes them happy, regardless of the outcome it may perceive. Maybe this is one thing that WE as girls have to learn from guys, to enjoy these four years of privileged freedom before we go out into the real world. This time is something we were granted and we appear to be wasting it on something not worth our worries. Boys. So here you are ladies, I’m about to tell you how it’s going down.

The right one will come along when the time is right, as well as when you least expect it. Heck, maybe you’ve already met that person and you just don’t know it yet (i.e. if it’s meant to be it will happen). Why it didn’t happen then? Well, simple, it was just bad timing and yes that is a real thing. It is important that we have ourselves figured out first and that we are in a stable position where we are doing the things that make us happy. The right one will come when they see you doing, well, you. There is nothing more important and attractive than a woman who can stand alone on her own. When a guy sees an independent girl who can handle her own, that’s when they want us most. How come? Because they know that while they’re doing their thing you are also doing yours, no “I will take care of you” bs. That person who comes around during that moment, is the one who is going to support you, treat you good, and (most importantly) respect you for the person you sook out to be.

Chances are, at this point, that you’ll love yourself so much that they’ll love you just as much back because (I know I know) you have to love yourself before you love someone else. If someone sees you being harsh on yourself, they will just do the same exact thing because, in reality, how you treat yourself is how others are going to treat you too. They will treat you bad if you continue allowing them to. DO NOT PUT UP WITH IT. You are your own boss and they don’t run a single aspect of your life or the decisions you choose to make. Where you are going to end up in life is not going to be because of them, but because of yourself. Whether you decide not to do something or to do something, it’s all helplessly in your hands. Never let the thought of a guy change the things that you want to do because at the end of the day all you have is yourself and the outcome of your decisions.

My advice? Chill out and do you first. Bachelor number one and only will be waiting at the alter by the end of it all.