Despite the fact that I consider myself an adamant feminist, I sometimes realize that I'm in the process of digging myself into a dangerous hole that I see a lot of other girls digging themselves into as well: belittling ourselves while flirting with guys.

Basically, we try to act cuter around guys, which means we act less intelligent, powerful, and independent, and more "girly."

Disclaimer: I am only speaking about heterosexual couples due to the boundaries of my knowledge. I am definitely not promoting heteronormativity.

I see girls and guys doing this while flirting because both try to play up their own sexes when flirting; the girl acts cute, ditzy, and in need of protection, while the boy acts strong, powerful, and masculine. While both people try to display exaggerated versions of their conventionally stereotypic gender identities, the females are usually the ones that belittle themselves.

It seems cute and natural at the time, but later I tend to regret feeling the need to make myself appear that way. If a boy likes me, shouldn't he like me for who I am, instead of this act I feel I need to put on? I consider myself strong and independent, but if I really was strong and independent, would I really need to act this way around guys that I am flirting with?

I'm not saying I don't enjoy flirting with boys in this way, and I'm also not saying that this is the only way a girl can flirt with boys. I'm not saying that every girl does this, but living on a college campus where females and males live and interact with each other on a daily basis, I see it a lot.

The tendency other females and I to do this is slightly unsettling, because it shows how deeply ingrained the social constructs and stereotypes of gender are in our society. This is the norm and this is what people expect, and as females we accept it and even embrace it. Even though it is "normal," it's sad because it does belittle the female. The saddest part is we do this to ourselves.

So yes, we can complain about misogyny and we can complain about patriarchy, but we are also on some disturbing level also adding fuel to the fire. It is obviously not our faults, because we have been so socialized by the media and the norms in our society that we just think it is normal to belittle ourselves and make ourselves seem "girly."

I don't know how to fix this issue, and I don't know if this is even an issue that needs to be fixed in society. I am just pointing out a problem and begging those who read this to give this issue a little thought. As a female, you can catch yourself while doing this and decide whether or not you want to continue. You might realize that you should just be yourself in order to get guys that are truly worth your precious time.