It has begun — the big NCAA tournament. From Selection Sunday to the championship game, men and women everywhere are consumed with the madness of, you guessed it, the NCAA March Madness: Division I Men’s Basketball Tournament. I’m not discounting all of the hype. I understand some people have bet an obscene amount of money on these “big games,” but watching men in tank tops run up and down a court for 10 hours straight just doesn’t quite appeal to me. Maybe that’s just me, though.
I have a feeling I’m not the only girlfriend who will take a back seat to Perry Ellis and Jordan Bell this month. Worse yet, I am sure I won’t be the only girlfriend who is forced to spend countless hours watching "The Big Dance" and drinking cheap beer. From one uninterested girlfriend to another, I would like to extend my deepest condolences and these survival tips.
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Know the game.
Well, only the important things. Let’s start with the obvious — you’re watching basketball. The players score points or baskets, not touchdowns or field goals. I know, this confused me, too. To be safe however, don’t try using the lingo, or asking many questions at all. Heaven forbid one of the guys miss a layup answering your question. Keep it simple – know what teams are playing in the game you are watching. Most importantly, know which team your man is rooting for. Do not root for the other team!
Bring your own girlfriends and booze.
Don’t get stuck slugging lukewarm Natural Light. Bring yourself something a bit better tasting and much stronger to sip on. I promise the buzz will make the games much more bearable. If you find a girlfriend willing to sacrifice an afternoon to squeeze on a couch between un-showered college men, then bring her along. Pour her a stiff drink while you’re at it. She’ll need it.
Food definitely makes everything better.
Nachos and chicken wings are the perfect game-day eats. Offer to take control of the kitchen during the games. Cooking for your man and his friends is a win-win situation for everyone. You’ll get a reprieve from dribbling and missed free-throws and the opportunity to impress the guys with your cooking skills. You’ll totally be wife-material after this one.
Place a bet, or two.
I know this isn’t poker, but don’t be afraid to up the ante. Now, I’m not saying to bet your life savings on a sport you know nothing about. Bet other things – you get a back-rub if your man’s team wins and he gets a homemade dinner cooked by yours truly if they lose. Feeling extra lucky? Wage a bet for the final game – loser picks up the tab. A little friendly competition is healthy and this might even give you a reason to pay attention to the game.
Have a girls' night.
There are just sometimes you “literally can’t.” For those days, leave the boys to their game or dance or whatever they want to call it. Grab the girls and hit the town for a night out. Promise each other and yourself you won’t speak a word about the tournament, not that that would be a difficult task. Try to forget your man’s team lost last game and he will probably be in a bad mood for three days. Drown your sorrows and dance until you forget you spent the last week watching sweaty men dribble a basketball.
