As a freshman in college in your first semester, you're stressed and confused. Now add your boyfriend going to bootcamp for 13 weeks with your only communication being letters. That's a little stressful too. During these three months, I made a list of things that I wish someone would've told me so I could have still functioned instead of having breakdowns every few days.
1. Saying goodbye is hard.
This is an obvious one. Watching him walk away, knowing you won't see or talk to him for a long period of time stinks, but just remember that he's following his dreams. It's okay to be sad, any normal person would be. You'll probably cry, and he probably won't, but that's normal. Saying goodbye is one of the hardest parts of the entire thing, at least on our end.
2. You're going to feel alone, and I promise you're not.
When he first leaves, you're going to be sad because you don't want him to go. For me, I was upset for a couple weeks but tried to keep myself busy so I didn't think about it as much. Some days are harder than others. Sometimes, you're going to feel alone and like no one understands what you're going through. The painful truth is that not many people do understand, simply because they haven't gone through it. Find someone just to talk to, or if you're lucky like me, someone who has gone through it. It helps to have someone there.
3. Getting your first letter is like Christmas.
This explains itself. You're going to check your mail a million times a day, every day for a letter. The first letter you get makes you realize that everything's going to be okay. It'll probably be short because they don't have a lot of time to write, but it's better than nothing.
4. Start a countdown.
Having a countdown makes it go faster, especially when you get down to the last few weeks. It might seem like forever at first, but it goes by quick if you keep yourself busy. Plus, it's daily motivation to keep going because you know that's what he would want. Just a fair warning- I figured out that the halfway point was the worst. It felt like I had started all over again with my emotions and I couldn't exactly decide how I felt but I got through it.
5. Be honest.
When you're writing to him, be honest about your life. Don't try and make everything sound like rainbows and daisies if that's not how it is. If you're feeling sad, tell him. If you're nervous about something, tell him. If you're super happy about something, TELL HIM! Always try and keep him updated about your life. He really has no clue what's going on and wants to be updated. Try and write him twice (or more) a week so he can get mail.
6. Send the sports scores.
Every Sunday or Monday, look up all of the sports scores from the weekend and send them to him. It's a sense of normalcy that they miss, and it can add a touch of home to the letters. Don't send just his favorite team, include other local teams so he can get a better idea.
7. Brantley Gilbert songs are a huge no-no.
I figured this one out the hard way. Don't get me wrong, Brantley Gilbert is a great singer who writes really good songs UNTIL you're sad and missing your military guy. The song 'One Hell of an Amen' is on my list of "songs to avoid" when I'm sad because it's so realistic. Not only Brantley Gilbert, but many other country singers are the same way. Just be careful about what you listen to so you aren't making it harder on yourself.
All of these are things are what I wish someone would have told me before my boyfriend went off to bootcamp, and I hope they can help someone else whose in my shoes. Just remember that in the end, it's SO WORTH IT! Seeing them for the first time after bootcamp is such an amazing experience that I wish more people could have. It's hard now, but just hang on, because it's all okay in the end.
