If your boyfriend has decided to join the military, big life changes are coming for the both of you. You’re probably going to experience a whirlwind of emotions, including fear, anxiety, and excitement. While this experience will be unlike any that you’ve gone through thus far, you can use the experiences of countless other women that have lived the military lifestyle to prepare yourself.

From one military girlfriend to another, here’s a list of 12 things you can expect while your boyfriend is at boot camp:

1. You will start missing him before he leaves.

The thought of your S/O leaving for 8+ weeks with little to no contact is probably terrifying and like nothing you have ever had to think about before. I cried sporadically just thinking about my boyfriend shipping out for 6 months before he left. It is completely normal for the thought of him leaving to make you feel anxious, scared, and emotional.

Tip: As much as he appreciates that you are going to miss him, do your best to stay strong. Even though he may seem excited, his excitement is bound to be coupled with nerves, so it will help him if you can stay calm. Ask him how he is handling everything, encourage him during the weeks leading up to his ship date, and remind him how proud you are.

2. You will put your fears aside to make his last pre-boot camp memories with you great ones.

Even though you’ve been secretly (or not-so-secretly) nervous about him leaving for days, weeks, or months, you’ll put his feelings first when it comes time for him to actually leave. I was surprisingly calm the last day before my boyfriend shipped out. As much as I knew that I was going to miss him, I pushed those feelings aside and did whatever I could to make his last day at home an amazing one. It is perfectly normal to feel emotional, but try not to let your anxiety set the tone for your last day together.

Tip: Bring him a few of his favorite treats. This will give you something meaningful to do while he gets ready to leave and he will appreciate having some of his favorites for the last time.

3. Everything will remind you of him.

I really mean everything. This will be hardest when he first leaves, but after a few weeks you will get used to your new routine. When my boyfriend left, I missed him whenever I did anything that we did together before he left (which was a lot). Over time, you will grow to appreciate having some time to yourself and even take pride in your newfound independence.

Tip: Use the time when he is away to take up a new hobby or challenge your personal growth. I chose not to wear makeup while my boyfriend was gone to challenge my idea of beauty. Keep a journal, go to the gym, or learn to cook some new meals. He will definitely have tons of interesting stories to tell you when he graduates basic training, so make sure you have some interesting things to tell him too!

4. You will miss things about each other that you never thought you'd miss.

You will not take anything for granted after he leaves for boot camp and you’ll probably grow more appreciative of each other than ever before. You might miss the way he kisses your forehead, the way he drives with one hand on the wheel and one interlocked in yours, or the way he flips his hair (which will be gone as soon as he gets to boot camp). He will miss a lot of things about you too. In one of my boyfriend’s letters, he told me that he missed the face I made when he pissed me off (how romantic…)

Tip: Ask him for some of his clothes or other personal items before he leaves. It helped me to wear his T-shirts to bed or snuggle with one of his oversized sweatshirts when I missed him.

5. You will learn to love writing letters.

When snail mail is your only means of communication (except for his rare and inconsistent trips to the call center), you will spend a lot of time writing letters. I made it a goal of mine to send my boyfriend a letter every day. It will be frustrating at times because he won’t be able to write to you very often, but your letters will be extremely encouraging to him. Keep your letters positive. If you don’t, he will feel horrible that he can’t make you feel better. Try to make him smile in every letter and make sure to send lots of pictures too!

Tip: Make your letters stand out. I purchased royal blue envelopes to mail my letters in. My boyfriend told me after basic that he loved the envelopes because he knew that the letter was from me even before he could read the return address.

6. Checking the mail will become one of your favorite pastimes.

Even though you’ll quickly find out that he can’t write very often, you will still love checking the mail (just in case). Even though many days the pile of envelopes will disappoint you, your diligence will be rewarded when you finally find one of his letters mixed in the stack. My boyfriend wasn’t able to send a letter until 3.5 weeks into basic, so don’t hold your breath on getting one in the first few weeks. Your patience will pay off when he is finally able to write.

Tip: Don’t panic if he can’t write to you every week. I was so worried the first week that I didn't get a letter. Don’t worry. There are many reasons that he wouldn’t be able to send a letter: early mail collection, chapel running over time, etc.

7. You will drive yourself crazy waiting for his phone calls.

If you think waiting for letters will drive you crazy, waiting for a phone call will feel even worse. I was never concerned about this until he called me for the first time. Every branch is different but they often have limited time to talk on the phone, so I wasn’t sure I’d even get a phone call during boot camp. All I thought was, "Thank goodness I answered." My boyfriend couldn’t tell me the next time he would be able to call but said it would most likely be on a Sunday. So, from there on out, my phone never left my side on Sundays.

I was so paranoid that I would miss his calls. Don’t be paranoid. I wasted a lot of time and worry waiting for a call that I never got again. Expect the unexpected with the military and know that you can’t count on anything. You’ll save yourself a lot of stress if you don’t worry about the next time he will call.

Tip: Since he will most likely have limited time to talk to you, don’t talk about yourself for the entire conversation. You have way more time to write him letters and tell him what’s going on in your life than he does. Let him tell you whatever he wants to tell you about training and let him ask any questions that he has about the civilian world (e.g., current events). Don’t worry if you don’t understand all of the acronyms he uses. Don’t get caught up in the details— You can waste the whole phone call if you do. It will be so nice to hear his voice that it won’t matter what he is telling you.

8. Your relationship will mature quickly.

Especially if you’re young like my boyfriend and me, your relationship will be tested in ways that it has probably never been tested before. If this is the first time that you two are going to be long-distance, it may seem like a daunting transition, but you can do it! After he is gone for a few weeks, you’ll learn to appreciate the little things and let go of surface-level characteristics that used to bother you about each other. Watching your friends fight with their boyfriends will probably annoy you.

I remember wishing that I could talk to my boyfriend long enough to fight (and if I could talk to him I definitely would not fight about the small things that my friends got mad at their boyfriends about). You may feel alone if you don’t know anyone else in a military relationship. These are all normal feelings, and you should feel confident that you’ll be able to work through them. In the end, you’ll realize how much you love each other and value the experience of having time apart to learn that.

Tip: Try to connect with others in military relationships. I joined a group on Facebook for women in military relationships. You can also read about others' experiences through blogs. That way, you can hear others’ stories and ask for advice and encouragement when you need it.

9. The 24 hours leading up to his graduation ceremony will be the longest 24 hours of your life.

After you finally establish a routine of independence and perfect your letter-writing schedule, basic training will be almost over. As it nears the end, you will probably start to feel overwhelmed with anxiety and excitement that you finally get to see your man again. Embrace this feeling!

Tip #1: Don’t stress about the little things before graduation. I was so concerned with getting a new dress, getting my nails done, and how I was going to do my hair that I started driving myself crazy. Finally, my friend told me that my boyfriend wouldn’t care how I looked because he would just be excited to see me. This turned out to be so true. He will think that you look beautiful no matter what you’re wearing after spending weeks apart.

Tip #2: Think of a cute gift you can get him for graduation. The night before my boyfriend’s graduation ceremony, his siblings and I went to Walmart to buy him a bunch of gag gifts and supplies to make a sign for the hotel room door. We didn’t have to spend a lot of money, he got a laugh out of it, and he saw how much we appreciated him.

10. Trying to find him in a sea of uniforms will be harder than finding Waldo.

After you sit through what feels like the longest graduation ceremony ever (It’s not actually that long but knowing that you’ll get to see him at the end makes it feel never-ending), finding him in a crowd of service members all wearing the same uniform and walking with the same straight back will be no small feat. Not to mention that his hair and physique may look different, so you will really have a challenge ahead of you.

Tip: Don't get overwhelmed if it takes a few minutes to find him. Even though he may be hard to recognize, he will be able to pick you out of the crowd.

11. Your first hug after weeks apart will make everything worth it.

When you finally find him and hug him for the first time in weeks, all of your feelings of anxiety will melt away. Any reservations you may have had about being able to handle a military relationship will subside when you see the payoff at the end of a long time spent apart. When I saw my boyfriend for the first time after boot camp, I was speechless (which doesn’t happen too often for me). Enjoy the moment. Don’t be afraid to cry, to laugh, and to love each other.

Tip: Make sure the two of you get a picture! These sweet moments are few and far between. (You'll also want to show all of your friends, so smile big!)

12. Even though you might say you hated every minute that he was gone, you'd do it all over for him.

After you hear all of his wonderful stories about training and see how joyful, proud, and fulfilled he feels, you’ll realize that joining the military was just what he needed. It is not always easy supporting an S/O in the military, but the outcome is rewarding. Although one of the most difficult types of relationships, military relationships are also one of the strongest. Your love can conquer all.