I wasn't born a premature baby, but I was always small. I was shorter and skinnier than the rest of my classmates, no one paid mind to it, most of my family were built the same way. I would hear on a daily basis that people could fit their fingers around my wrist with room to spare and they would exclaim that they thought that I was going to float away when the wind blew. Questions about if I was eating enough at home or eating at all crept into my ears. Despite having an extremely poor diet for a child (fast food, tons of candy, never any fruits/veggies), I was underweight until puberty thanks to my fast metabolism. I was known as the girl that could eat twice her body weight and not gain a single pound.
SEE ALSO: Stop Shaming Women Who Love To Eat And Never Gain Any Weight
Then puberty hit. Like most humans, puberty was an awkward time in my life when I was trying to figure out what the hell was happening to my body. It didn't make it any easier that my metabolism had lost its magic digestion powers and what I ate was starting to catch up to me. I remember my older sister would keep poking my stomach, telling me that I needed to go on a diet and watch what I ate, even though I was in a healthy weight range. That was pretty traumatizing for my thirteen-year-old self. None of my old clothes fit and I had to go shopping for larger sizes, there was this sense of self-deprecation as I realized that I wasn't a double zero in pants anymore. Was I ugly now?
When I was put on birth control, I put on more weight again yet I was still in a healthy range. People who hadn't seen me in a long time tried to politely work in the conversation that I had "evened out." I watched while my friends with their flat stomachs and toned arms went out in bikinis to the beach or wore the latest fashions that I did not feel comfortable wearing because it showed my stomach and/or did not compliment my figure. I was healthy, why didn't that mean I was skinny? For most of my high school experience, I did not go out in fear of being judged. Through strict exercise and eating healthy, my weight did not budge.
Although I still have things I would like to change about my appearance, I am learning to love what I look like.
1. To the girl who used to be "skinny,"
Beautiful does not come in one specific shape or form. The number on the scale does not mean anything. Some people have a little more to love and some people have a little less, there is nothing wrong with that.
2. To the girl who used to be "skinny,"
Your weight does not define who are you as a person. You are whoever you want yourself to be. Don't listen to negativity.
3. To the girl who used to be "skinny,"
Someone will love all of you. It may take a while to find the one, but when you do, it will be genuine.
4. To the girl who used to be "skinny,"
Sometimes all the dieting and exercise in the world won't make you lose (or gain) weight. You are a magnificent beast. (Thanks, "Sierra Burgess is a Loser.")
5. To the girl who used to be "skinny,"
I'm sorry you can't eat what you want anymore, that sucks (no more midnight pantry raids for me).
6. To the girl used to be "skinny,"
Most importantly, learn to love yourself.
