I have always heard people say that little girls dream of marriage their whole lives.
You see on the tv little girls talking about how they hope to be married one day. Your friends make Pinterest boards with ideas for their future wedding day. Supposedly, women have been planning their weddings their whole lives.
I have never been that kind of woman.
I have rarely ever dreamed of what my wedding might look like. In fact, I almost never think about what my dress might look like, or what flowers I might have, or what kind of venue I might use.
To be honest, I don’t think about getting married at all.
When I was little, I certainly dreamed about my future, but that vision always appeared in the form of dreams and aspirations. And weddings certainly never made the list.
Even at 22-years-old, I still do not talk about marriage. I do not think about marriage. I never dream of having the “perfect wedding.” In all reality, I don’t even think I ever will. While I am not opposed to the idea of marriage and love and spending the rest of your life with someone, I just have no desire to actively pursue that route.
If I meet someone along this crazy journey that is life and I fall in love with them then, sure. I may get married. But for now, I am just trying to live my best life and enjoy the ride.
I have always been made to feel weird or different for not wanting the same things that other women are expected to want. People assume that marriage just scares me, or that I am just afraid I will never find "the one." People assume that I need marriage or a "man" to complete me.
I do not need someone else to complete me. I complete me.
Marriage is not something that scares me. It is simply just not something I want or am looking for at this time. I am only a senior in college, and all my friends are settling down and having babies, but I still have so much life to live. I still have so much I want to do and so many things I want to see and I want to be free to do it on my own. I don’t want to be held down by anyone else or any other responsibilities.
I see nothing wrong with settling down at a young age, as long as it is what you want and as long as you are happy. However, the thought of settling down at such a young age is terrifying to me because there is so much I wish to accomplish before then.
Maybe once I have finished my education, seen the world a little bit more, planned out my future a little bit better, then I will be more okay with the thought of settling down and getting married. Maybe I will start planning my wedding one day. But I do not wish to start today.