That feeling you have right now, take a second to process it. You probably just looked in the mirror and thought to yourself, "wow I am so fat, this needs to go in any way possible". So the first thing to pop into your head was to stop eating. You can't explain how it just happens and truthfully, now that I have stopped, I can't explain how you go all day without eating either. You're wrong if you think you'll feel prettier or healthier or whatever it may be if you stop eating, but the truth is, everyday you'll still not feel good enough or you'll feel weak on the inside and out.

I don't think I truly ever appreciated my strength until this year. Something about those college cafeteria cookies that made me think, "yeah, how did I ever skip meals before," or the free gym that made me realize being strong is a much better feeling than barely eating 800 calories a day. To this day, some people did not realize I put myself through that for a reason that was pretty unclear to even me.

Let me walk you through it, you stop eating, you try to do crunches and cardio as much as possible, in some cases you begin to be so engulfed in it and your body image that you begin to make yourself sick, you stop getting your period, and it begins to mess with your mind. You think you're being healthy just because the scale shows you loosing not only weight, but your muscle, your strength, and just who you are. You started this so you could feel better about yourself and be skinnier, but instead, all you will feel is weakness and emptiness and nothing will be enough. You will think that you are 'fat' even when you look at the scale and see 95 pounds, when just last week you definitely were 105.

What stopped me was that it scared me and I thank god everyday that it did. You need a certain body fat percentage to have everything be regular in your body. I have not looked at the scale in probably a full year. Being hungry and emotionally weak is not a good feeling at all compared to eating healthy and whatever you want and taking care of yourself.

So that feeling you have right now, that you're processing of you thinking you're 'fat' and wanting to easily get it off at any cost, don't begin to take the easy way. That easy way, will become the hard way and destroy who you are and how strong you are. Do not get addicted to the scale. Getting out of this habit is harder than you think. Instead of taking a million steps backwards and then trying to actually be healthy, like myself, just move forward from the beginning. Concentrate on making yourself happy and strong physically and mentally. Looking back now, I am so grateful for how far I've come.