First things first: You got this.
I know the dreaded 'D' word, deployment, is one that every milso (military significant other) dreads. It comes up in conversation but you just push it to the back of your mind because there, it doesn't exist. You continue your days as normal until one day you realize their date is approaching and at godspeed. If you're like me and have never been through a deployment before, this next chapter of your relationship can seem daunting. I'm here to tell you that it does get easier and you are stronger than you think. There are a few things that I have learned and have made me get through it all.
1. Support System
During this time it's so important to rely on your friends and family to be there for you and give you the encouragement that you need, especially during the first month or two. Sometimes all you'll want to do is stay in bed and feel sad, but it is going to do nothing except make you feel worse. I allowed myself a day to cry and miss him too much lol, but I knew I had to surround myself with some awesome people if I expected to feel any better about his absence. If you have other milso friends, this could be helpful because they will be able to understand your situation a little bit better.
2. Stay Busy
Staying busy is crucial to surviving these long months. Whether you're picking up more shifts at work, working out, or picking up that instrument that you wanted too. I personally started working a lot and working out and it feels really good to have more money and feel even better about my body. Plus, it will make you feel good when your boo sees all the gains both in the bank and the booty, hehe ;).
3. Communication
Just like any other relationship it's very important to be able to communicate. This could be a tricky thing as your SO won't be able to talk to you as much as you'd like. This was really hard for me. I'm going to be honest, I started to feel like he didn't want to talk to me. Obviously I wasn't thinking clearly! He's in a completely different country and time zone so talking to him wasn't going to be as easy as it once was. I am lucky enough that he is in a place where there is WiFi, but if your SO is not, writing letters is going to make things so much easier for you. Just remember he is working, he has to do his job. He probably wants to talk to you just as much as you do.
4. Talk to their parents
Jacob's mom and I exchanged numbers at the start of his deployment so that we could keep each other informed about things that were going on. His family lives in another state so it was really important for us to stay in touch. Being able to talk to his mom has been really helpful in the emotional part of this all too. Lastly, as a girlfriend unfortunately we are not seen as important to the military so any and everything that goes on with your SO will go through their parents.
5. Get Involved
Personally, I find a lot of the milso community to be very drama filled and judgmental. Don't lose hope though! There are a lot of online groups and blogs that make being in a military relationship a lot easier. You guys can share how you're feeling and someone, somewhere is sure to be able to ease your mind. Also the military tag on Pinterest is great! There are so many cute ideas for sending care packages to making cute homecoming signs. Making my boyfriends Christmas care package was so much fun and he loved it !
All of these are very important to surviving your first and many deployments, but there are two that are paramount. Trust and Love. Your SO is counting on you to be strong and waiting for them with open arms and a full heart when they return. Not getting through this deployment was something that was never discussed, but instead we both said, "I know this will be hard, but we'll get through it. I love you." Having a mutual understanding and discussing your fears or worries is crucial before your person leaves. Hang in there and even though my guy hasn't returned yet, I'm bursting with excitement for his homecoming! Distance and deployment are no match for true love :). Stay strong, you're one day closer!
