To the girl who has been cheated on:
You will rise again.
You will love again, you will feel genuine happiness again, and you will find your way once more.
However, you won't ever be the same person you once were.
Try as you might, you'll never be able to get back the girl you were when your heart first decided to love him. Because that girl was younger, less prepared, more open and trusting and willing to give love without receiving much of anything in return.
I'm not saying you become cold and calloused after your heart is broken in such a way, but it does take a large emotional toll on you that takes a very long time to pay. For a while, you'll cry and wonder what you did wrong, why you weren't good enough.
And the answer is simple: you did nothing wrong, but you'll never be good enough for selfish people.
It's a harsh reality, one we too often aren't willing to face, but it's true: selfish, unhappy people always seek to have more than what they need. When a person is unhappy, he will try to fill his life with all manner of things to fill the hole inside. But nothing is ever good enough. He is a contagious weed, taking over everything in his garden—even down to you, the sweetest rose in his life. Don't beat yourself down over people like this. I'll say it again...
You'll never be good enough for people who aren't even good enough for themselves.
In the wake of the hurricane, you will be mad—furious, actually. You'll be livid at yourself, at your ex, at the girl he threw it all away with, and at the world. This anger and bitterness are normal, but do not let it consume you. Take it from the girl who did: I made a lot of pointless mistakes that summer fueled by my pain. Instead of letting the heartbreak overtake you, channel your hurt into something productive: working out, painting, photography, hanging out with non-toxic people, etc. You will thank yourself later.
And please don't give yourself a timeline of when you need to get over him. There is no set time.
Don't feel bad if you find yourself crying to sleep months later because the pain is still fresh.
Heartbreak like that might never fully disappear from your life. It's okay to take time for yourself. And if you were really physically, emotionally, and mentally invested in the relationship, you might never feel the same way with your next partner. This is not to say that you'll never love again; you will, I promise you. But it won't be the same, especially at the beginning. It won't be the same because you'll be afraid. You'll be scared to trust and scared to fully let go. There might be times when, even with your new partner, you think of the boy who broke your heart so long ago and feel a tinge of sadness. Not because you ever want to be in a relationship like that again, but because such wounds sometimes embed themselves in our souls.
But you will overcome. There will come a day when you laugh genuinely and smile with no fear or pain behind your eyes. You will learn to genuinely enjoy life again and feel good about yourself. There will be good days and there will be bad days, but a time will come when the good days outnumber the bad ones by a mile. You will grow from this experience. You will realize your worth and know exactly what you want and all the good things you deserve in your next relationship. You will learn to accept and embrace love once more without being afraid of sabotage. You will emerge from the situation a wiser and better person. And I promise you, you will be okay because you are the strongest person you know.
