I've always prided myself in having a decent amount of friends, both girls and guys. Being a good friend is important to me, and in return I usually expect my friends to treat me with that same respect. But in some situations, being the friend can get pretty frustrating.
I've been suffering from girlnextdooritis for almost 19 years now. Sounds like a made up name right? If you're a Taylor Swift fan, there's a 99.9% chance you know what girlnextdooritis is, but if you're not then let me start off by going ahead and explaining this absurd term.
Girlnextdooritis is when a guy only wants to be your friend, never your boyfriend. This has actually been the story of my entire life. I'm always looked at as one of the guys, and never the girl who you would want to pursue. Literally every guy I've ever liked has pictured me this way. I've never been the pretty one, or the one other girls stalked on Instagram and wished they were. In high school, I had a pattern of falling for the guys I was closest with. It can be difficult not to like someone when talk to them all day everyday, and know the things no one else does. Time and time again, I would catch feelings for the wrong people, and it would always leave me feeling upset or "broken hearted" because as usual, they just wanted to be friends. So I guess having girlnextdooritis is a fancier way of saying you are the epitome of the friend zone.
I came to college thinking things would be different. No longer was I going to allow myself to be stuck in this shitty situation ever again. I had spent the last what seemed like 50 years being friends with all the guys, but never the one they liked as anything more. I came to college wanting to find someone who changed all of that.
Much to my dismay, as the begining of my second semester starts, I am still "the friend." But this time, things are different. I've actually started to accept my role as being a friend and nothing more. I love having more guy friends than girl friends because there is never any drama, and they are essentially the only ones I can talk sports with. Seriously though, I've realized there are bigger problems in the world, and in my life, than trying so hard to impress a guy I will probably never have a serious future with. It isn't worth stressing over anymore. School, my family, and my friends are at the top of my priority list now.
I believe that the right person will come along eventually at the right time. Right now, is not that time. I know that I am bound to cure my girlnextdooritis with the right person, but instead right now is the time to chase my dreams, not chase boys.
