First off, I would like to start out by saying YOU are beautiful in every way.
Yes, there are magazines that start to display the "ideal body" for women at the beach around this time of year. There is a stigma in society surrounding the concept of beauty and women. I am here to ask you to join me in refuting the current expectations within the politics of appearance. Beauty rhetoric is not "natural," it is ideological. It has been placed to fit into Western culture and ideology, and it is entirely unrealistic.
I have struggled with my body image for many years. I was one of the first girls in my class to start wearing training bras, shaving, getting acne on my face, and I felt entirely isolated. I was very active at 10 years old. I was running 5ks through the Girls on the Run organization, playing volleyball, and riding my bike with my friends on a regular basis. Yet, I still had a "muffin topped" stomach, thick thighs, and flawed skin.
Then, I transitioned into high school, and new insecurities came about due to being hypersexualized by some of my peers about having thick thighs along with more vulgar sexual commentary being made towards my physique. It was absolutely mortifying for me, though society says that having a "sexually attractive physique" is something a woman should take pride in. For me, that was not the case and it made me question my self-identity often. Summers were particularly hard because my thighs were exposed, and I could not hide in my bulky, oversized sweatshirts.
Playing volleyball, our uniforms were tight and conforming, and I knew that boys were sitting in the bleachers not to watch the game, but to watch us in our uniforms. So, in various ways, I have been made to feel insecure about my body due to how I am portrayed to others. As I get older, I am learning healthy ways to cope with these insecurities that have arisen from societal views and stigmatic standards. Here are a few ways listed below:
Go with your gut when buying clothing
I have always been one to sit and analyze every inch of my body in an article of summer clothing I desire to buy. I have learned that that was not healthy, as I would analyze every single flaw I found in myself within that top, pair of shorts, or new bathing suit that I could find. Don't do that to yourself! If you do not like the feel of the outfit when you immediately try it on, that is one thing. However, if you like it after a minute or two of trying it on, and you are comfortable and find the price fair, go ahead and try on that next outfit and place it on the potential buying pile. With that being said, wear clothes that you are comfortable in that make you feel good about your physical appearance. Work with what you have, sis- and that is for you to define, not anyone else.
Don't let that little voice in your head speak louder than yours about your body
Negative thinking in all aspects of life is never beneficial, but it happens to all of us at one point or another; however, negative thinking can be especially dangerous when directed at yourself. When you catch yourself thinking negatively about yourself or your body image in particular, take the time to follow up on those negative thoughts with words of affirmation. A little bit of positivity can go a long way!
When you find a flaw, make a list of things you love about yourself
While it can be difficult if you are not at the stage where you are following negative thoughts with words of affirmation, making a list of things that you love about yourself can be quite vexing, even upsetting. Though this might prove to be quite a challenge, it is one of the many ways to ensure that you are working towards overpowering negative thinking. Or, if a list is too difficult to produce, try hanging some inspiring self-love quotes or words of affirmation on post-it notes around your mirror so it is one of the first things you see when you look into the mirror to help remind you to think positively!
Look at yourself as a whole, not that one patch of stretch marks
Kyrie Bassett
I am extremely guilty of doing this. I have caught myself saying "if I just had *one thing different about my body*, I would be so much prettier, less insecure, etc." I have found that by thinking that way, I tend to fall down the slippery slope of not wanting to alter one thing, but five things, then 10 things, and so on. It is easy to want to change something about yourself, and some goals are accomplishable. However, that is not the point here. Instead of picking yourself apart for those singular flaws, try not to isolate parts of your body and instead, look at yourself as a whole person.
Surround yourself with positive individuals
Kyrie Bassett
This is probably going to be the most difficult item on my list. Due to the societal ideologies that have implicated and rigidly defined women's beauty, it is hard for women to not fall into negative thinking when they do not meet these frivolous standards. So, I challenge you to find women who long to lift themselves up and help one another find positive thinking and emotions to help rid of the negative thinking. Don't be afraid to hold one another accountable!
Remember that beauty is not skin-deep
Kyrie Bassett
Due to misleading values portrayed in the media, people commonly associate beauty primarily with physical appearance, which is only part of it. Beauty is not the state of one's body: it is the state of one's mind. Take care of your mind first, and it will help you take care of the body it resides in!
While there are many other ways and resources available for individuals struggling with their body image and summer is not the sole source for struggle, these are just a few simple ways to learn how to redirect your thinking about yourself. One list is not the end-all-be-all to help fix negative thinking about your body image. I am still learning how to fully love myself, but I invite you to join this beautiful journey of building self-love and confidence by practicing affirmative, positive thoughts about yourself!
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