Some people will try to convince you that being selfish is an ugly trait to carry or that you will be looked down upon if you are selfish. However, I happen to believe that being selfish is a beautiful thing for personal growth and mental health. There is nothing wrong with being selfish with yourself, it’s the ultimate form of self-love. When you take the time to be with yourself and nobody else? That is when you truly begin to discover numerous characteristics about yourself that you may not have noticed before.
Now, being selfish doesn’t mean having a cold-heart towards others. It simply means putting yourself first before others.
For me? This is a hard concept to grasp, as I am one to have a big heart and put others before myself, not knowing when to say no, or just constantly putting myself and my feelings on the backburner for others. My entire life, I have been known as the one to help others, to give advice, to act as the “Mom” of the friend group because of my nurturing spirit. But having a nurturing spirit can be a blessing and a curse.
How? A blessing because helping others is such a rewarding feeling and you ultimately feel good by helping others, knowing you have made someone’s day brighter. A curse because some people love to prey on the innocent, the kind-hearted, the sweet, loving individuals who would give the shirt off their back for others. They use these characteristics to their advantage when it comes to asking for favors, advice, or anything that involves a one-way exchange.
One way to avoid the bittersweetness of having a nurturing spirit is to know your limitations. Know when you have exhausted all of your personal resources when it comes to giving advice or helping others. We have to realize that we cannot help everyone and we can’t carry the world on our shoulders. That will be mentally exhausting to the mind, body, and spirit.
It’s okay to give advice when asked, but if it becomes too mentally exhausting to speak with an individual, then maybe it’s time to start thinking of some other options for that person. There is nothing wrong with taking a step back. When you do so, you learn that you will feel a weight that’s being lifted off your shoulders.
Learning to say NO is a big part of learning to be selfish. Do not fear saying no because people pleasing can bring on a great deal of stress and mental fatigue. If the task does not require your immediate attention or is counterproductive, it's best to embrace your intuition.
If you think about saying no to something, it is probably grounds for consideration. Saying "no" is your battle shield for deflecting distractions, staying true to yourself, and sticking to the course.
People like to see progress.
To create.
The creative process is handicapped when you are playing dodge ball with things you wish you had never committed to.
Trust your gut — your brain will thank you.
Saying no is not the equivalent to giving someone the middle finger, it actually shows you have a vision, a plan, and an opinion. When you have a game plan, you feel less inclined to people please and you eliminate distractions.
In order to be personally successful, it is best to be selfish with yourself. It's important to take time out of each and every day for yourself to check in with yourself, do activities that make you happy, and evaluate yourself to make sure that everything that you do will lead to your own personal growth and development.
Learning to be selfish will be the best decision I will make for myself, and it will be the best decision you make for yourself, as well — Your mind, body, and spirit will thank you!
