Here's to the girls just living life and taking her time. There should be no rush to be something great or make something of yourself. We should have no problem getting rid of temporary people who don't help you see the great things about yourself. We should not be impatient to see where life will take us once we discover what we truly want. There is never a time limit on growing, changing, and bettering yourself...so why do we feel the need to go through the motions and skip the important part -- finding out who you are.
Explore the things that make you happy and do them.
Decide how you want to spend your free time and spend it that way.
Learn about yourself and keep soul searching.
Know what upsets you and stay away from those situations.
Challenge yourself to break outside of your comfort zone and love the new adventures in life.
Focus on yourself and make sure you are doing fine.
There is always a constant sense of pressure in the world to be perfect and have everything perfect in a matter of years. We all have different ideas about perfection. Here are just a few from girls I have asked, "What does your ideal life of success look like at age 25?"
"By age 25 I want a steady job, good husband, cute little apartment, 2 dogs, and a baby on the way." - 18 years old
"I see myself living in a big city, working for a successful company, a dreamy guy on my arm, and I know what I want - so I go for it.'' - 20 years old
"I will just be happy. You know... doing my thing, whatever it's gonna be. I'm not sure I have a plan." -17 years old
"By 25 I will have a job in a hospital hopefully, a great group of friends, lots of experience in the work place, and probably still be single no matter how many guys I get set up with." - 21 years old
As for me, it looks a little something like this, "I hope by the time I'm 25 that I will have: A career in Rehabilitation and occupational therapy, a house on land, loving husband, living somewhere with mountains and hiking, thoughts of a big family of 6, and obviously some dogs and a cat."
We all seemed to have some sort of success planned out on this ridiculous timeline. It is fine to have goals an aspirations, but why should we say we want them all by this age or that age. Well, guess what. It doesn't have to be that way; live life, be a mess, let go of the high expectations (society sets for you) that are unrealistic, like you should be married and have kids or that you should look a certain way and be successful. Take a step back, look at the bigger picture and find out who you are. Keep exploring and growing because there is always room for improvement. It's ok to not have everything figured out and it is ok to not have every single detail of your life planned and precise. It's ok to feel like you have no idea what you want to do with your life or who you want to spend it with. It's ok to feel uneasy and unsure about big decisions. It's ok to know that some people have no room in your life anymore and they only weighed you down. It is ok to be an independent woman trying to figure her life out. Don't worry about the future so much and do a little soul searching. Reach deep down and ask yourself:
How can I be the best version of myself?
Who do I want to surround myself with?
What is my main focus on?
Am I really happy with where I'm at in life?
No matter how old you are or where you are in life, these questions should always be present. Put your needs, your dreams and goals, your wants, and yourself first and find out who you really are. Now, who you are today is not going to be the same person you were five years ago, and sure as hell is not the same person you are going to be five years from now. Discovering who you are is a never ending experience and some phases of life are harder than others. You feel alone and desperately wish you had more friends? I guarantee every teenage girl has felt the same way. You feel stuck in a rut and your life isn't turning out the way you thought it would? Ok, who HASN'T felt this way at least once? You want more for yourself and know the obstacle before you will be tough? Well girl, let me tell you... it will be totally worth the fight when you look back and know you did it for your future self. We have all had to find ourselves at some point in life.
Eighth grade was the time when you probably wore too much eyeliner and "no one understood" how rough life was. It was all about friends and gossip at recess. You were only beginning to find out who you were.
Sophomore year was the time when you felt a little more sure about who you were, the talents you had, and the group of friends you surrounded yourself with. The eyeliner game was toned down a bit and you got rid of the braces. Life was great, but you honestly still had no clue who you were as an individual (at least you thought you knew exactly who you were).
Senior year was most likely a pretty huge wake up call, you hit eighteen and you were a young "adult." You were the big dog of the school, oldest students, and even an example. You might have thought you knew yourself inside and out, but college was about to be a game changer.
Your twenties are about to teach you so much more than you can imagine. In the first three years of college, you discovered all new areas of life and who you are. You grew up and the next few years are going to show you even more. You gained experience and found a little piece of your soul.
The take away from all of this is pretty simple. We all change and evolve, we all learn new things about ourselves, and at more than one point or another we have all felt a little bit lost. The transition from a girl to an adult can be such a wonderful phase of life, but that doesn't mean everything is going to be perfect. There is no rule that says we have to have life figured out and know ourselves by a certain age. So, take your time and enjoy learning about yourself. We all have things to figure out, places to go, and growing to do. Don't let finding yourself become a quick fix to a temporary feeling of misplacement -- let it define and mold you into a great human. Because, girl, we are all just trying to do the same exact thing.
