Wow. That is me, isnāt it? The girl that was supposed to graduate with honors (which I did) and have an exceptional academic record (which I did) and be involved in basically everything (which I did, except sports). I was expected to answer āAll Aāsā when asked how my classes were going at family Christmas. Anything less, even an A-, felt like a failure. I was expected to be one of the best at everything I did and give nothing less than 100% at any given time. But it never stopped there. On top of my 5+ extracurricular activities, I worked up to three part time jobs at a time. While raking in the money, I was hitting the books. Constantly quizzing myself and striving to be what everyone expected of me.
I was unstoppable.
Then, in June, I graduated. I wasnāt the top of my class, but I was in a very good rank. Following a summer full of working and open houses, including my own, I enrolled here at Alma College. A prestigious private institution that doubles as a competitive liberal arts college. Everyone was ecstatic for me, because they expected me to choose something like this--competitive. Now that I have completed a semester here, I have a little bit to say to the people that expected greatness.
SEE ALSO:How Girls With Anxiety Love Differently
Donāt.
Just donāt.
Within these last few weeks, I have attended three family Christmasā, all met with that same question. When I said that I barely passed Biology with a D, looks of disappointment greeted every face--and I loved it. I thrived on it. Finally, I wasnāt expected to be the perfect student. When I told them that I only had two part-time jobs, dropped band and temporarily quit musicals, I thought some of them were going to have a heart attack.
Being perfect, or close to it, isnāt how to live.
I had a professor who is on the admissions board, and he told me that when they see a 4.0 basically academically perfect student, they kind of shy away. Not because they donāt think that they will be good enough to strive academically, but because they see a student who has been expected to be perfect - a perfectionist. So they lean towards kids with lower GPAs and take chances on those who probably wouldnāt be given a chance otherwise.
Within these last three weeks, I have worked full time and then went home and worked there. Of course, it was totally different work, but work nonetheless. I took care of our puppy, made my boyfriend dinner, and we watched a movie or two, and it was wonderful. I thoroughly contemplated dropping this semester and just working, coming home, and loving life without the pressures of academics and the disappointing looks most would give me.
SEE ALSO:To The Boy Who Couldn't Love Me
This little article is going to take a turn; instead of continuing about my life, I am going to direct this to the girls, or boys, that feel they are under the continual pressure of perfection. The ones that feel like they too are in the same boat as me.
Stop. Donāt let them control your passions and make you into a robot that only knows the quadratic formula and the logos of life. Know the reason behind Van Goghās painting, or why the stars shine so bright. Adventure out of the cage for a day and enjoy the art and the brilliance that surrounds your textbooks and studying and cell phones.Take a year off between high school and college if you want. Backpack around Europe for a year. Travel to an underdeveloped country. Volunteer in another state. Take a week and disappear to the woods without phones or anything. Buy a one way ticket out of here before you canāt.
Whatever you want to do, do it. Because before you know it, you wonāt be able to be anything but a robot.