To the girl who cries herself to sleep,
When we look at you, we see a beautiful and strong girl. We see a girl with a brave face on even though you might not feel that way. You're a girl who laughs through the pain, shakes off a nightmare, shrugs off a bad day. But as soon as you are home, as soon as those lights go off, as soon as you are alone--a sound you've become familiar with, a feeling that you've grown accustomed too-- you let it out. You've spent so many nights curled up in bed, tears flowing down your face until you fall asleep.
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It's the most painful thing in the world feeling this way. You feel so alone yet feel like you have so much to give. Yet, when it comes down to it, you won't let anyone help you. You try to do it all yourself. So it's just you and the four walls, the darkness and the tears.
The way you carry yourself, nobody could tell that you're carrying with you these demons that you fight alone-- thoughts of neglect, of never being good enough. You make it seem like that brave face you show the world is the same way you always have. But it's just a mask that comes off at the end of the day.
Can you admit now that you aren't okay? Admit now that you need help? Ask someone to talk? Truly let someone in and stop telling them you are okay? Because you can't keep letting yourself live these lies. You can't hide behind the fake smiles and cry yourself to sleep every night.
You cry because you live in a world that makes you feel like nothing is meant for you at least not in the way you imagined. Your tears are the only way you can ask yourself what you really need. Your heart is broken, but you can't see the scars. You feel untouched and unloved. You feel it in your bones.
And like every night so far, you turn on the same sad music, curl up in the darkness of your room and cry. You wait for sleep to creep over your body. As the tears flow down your face, you begin to wonder if it's worth these nights. If someone will come along and save you. If you'll save yourself. How much longer you can do that. How much longer you'll have that willpower.
Things might seem rough right now and that's okay. It's just a rough patch. It'll get better. At least that's what they say. That's what they want you to believe. But with everything piling on, is it the truth?
When will you realize that you need help? When you are lying in bed at night, in the dark of the room, listening to sad songs and letting the tears flow down your face. When you convince your friends that you are okay so you don't have to talk about it. When you have to convince yourself that it's okay and you're overreacting. Because girl that's no way to live.
It's okay to not be okay. It's okay to cry. But it's also okay to need help. Let people in and let them help you. You're not always strong enough to handle it yourself.
