Any die-hard fan of Gilmore Girls can tell you that the loyalty is somewhat indescribable. From the quirky jokes that make pop-culture references you don’t quite understand, to the quiet, yet dramatic moments that resonate so deep, it really is hard to pinpoint exactly what makes Gilmore Girls so special.
I re-watched the series recently because of the Netflix special and needless to say, the moments still hit me, hard.
There’s nothing more striking than the silence shared between Lorelai and her father when he wakes up in the hospital after collapsing in his kitchen. Who else but Lauren Graham and Edward Herrmann could depict years of disconnect and yearning with just a few seconds exchange of pained expressions?
There is nothing I can relate more to than watching Rory Gilmore, who is the show’s designated icon of what it means to be a “golden child”, constantly battle between heart and mind. The scene where Alexis Bledel, after Rory slept with Dean, shakily walks down the porch steps of their infamous Stars Hollow home and finally falling to her knees gets me every single time. Anyone who has felt the lethal combination of heart-break and regret can understand her pain.
And I’m sure I’m not the only one who fell apart when Lorelai sang Whitney Houston’s “I Will Always Love You”. Lauren Graham channeled the epitome of that “I miss you” feeling that I’m sure everyone has felt at one point. That is a presentation of pure vulnerability and strength, if I have ever seen one.
But I think what I’ve come to learn that is so special about Gilmore Girls is that it really is a show that changes meaning every time you watch it, and not because they’re changing, it’s because you change, too.
I have watched and re-watched this show countless times all through middle school, high school and even throughout college. I distinctly remember Rory Gilmore being my own personal it-girl. She taught me there’s nothing shameful in being smart and that you can befriend the bitchy girl in high school no matter how impossible you think it is. She demonstrated what it felt like to date the boy next door, the bad boy, the pretty boy. I watched her go off, slightly hesitantly but surely, to Yale and it prepped me for my own journey into the collegiate chapter of my life.
But, it wasn’t until recently did I start to see myself relating more to Lorelai and understanding her more than ever. I’m 23, not even to the age halfway between Lorelai and Rory in the show, but I can feel myself relate to Lorelai more and more. I couldn’t help but feel betrayed when Rory pretty much abandoned Lorelai and didn’t speak to her for months. And what's beautiful about her is among moving through life as a single parent and a woman in business, she could still make us laugh with playful, childlike sarcasm. She was superwoman. And as much as she was Rory’s go-to, Lorelai became goals as a mother and a best friend at the same time for me, albeit fictional.
And then I realized, that’s what the magic was about this show. You actually grow up with it. This show isn’t just a guide to be a Gilmore Girl, it’s a loose outline of just, well, being a girl.
Even though the show is majority centric around Rory and Lorelai, it starts to somewhat turn its attention more to the grandparents as well. The contrast between Rory and Lorelai’s unbreakable bond in comparison to Emily and Lorelai’s frustrations adds a rich foundation of tension to the premise of the show. And honestly, the women in my generation of GG viewers might not realize it yet, but the themes of parenthood might be what we look to as a guide of do’s and dont’s when we’re parents too (if you’re not already!).
I smile at the possibility that this show that has always been a story about living as daughters, is really in disguise a story about growing into being mothers, too.
And that’s what’s beautiful about it, really. When it comes down to it, it’s a show about two girls in a small town doing normal things, but thousands of people have grown to covet it. The subtlety, the charm, and the ability to connect through small gestures and strange relationships, that’s what makes Gilmore Girls the show of our past, present and future.
