Here we have, in no particular order, some crazy-awesome gifts for your pretentious, film snob friend who won't shut up about Hitchcock, a short film they watched on YouTube, or the screenplay they're working on. If you get them one of these, they may be appeased and shut up...for now, at least...
Movie Bucket List Scratch-Off Poster
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They may claim to have watched these 100 classics, but challenging them to prove it by scratching them off as they go will result in you not seeing them for at least a couple weeks (thank god -- they were really getting on your nerves).
Single Serve Microwave Popcorn Popper
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Yeah no, these are definitely the same assholes who won't share the bucket at the theater, so why not get them their own single serving one for home? That way, they can't complain when the rest of you eat from the shared bowl. Take that, popcorn heathen.
Martin Scorsese Filmmaking Classes
They'll tell you they know everything there is to know, but that's kinda bullshit -- I mean, if they're going to rant at you about how modern film techniques are "lackluster," at least make it so that they actually know what they're talking about. If anything, this is more of a gift for you than them.
Minimalist Movie Posters
They are literally all suckers for minimalist posters, no joke; it's like a collective sickness. They'll collect them until the walls are covered without fail.
Get them Here for $20
Cinemetal Tee Shirts
An inside joke can be fun, but to these movie freaks, an inside joke is all they ever want -- and ironically, it's also their way of identifying others of their kind. In an almost mating call, they can identify the ironic graphics from across a room of crowded people and sound "eyyyyyyyy" for extended intervals of time until their future cinephile-mate responds in kind.
Get One Here for $27
Movie Reel Wine Rack
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These movie buffs are less-so buffs than snobs, there's no two ways about it, so why not honor their more snobbish side by giving them a freaking wine rack?
Movie Keychain
They do speak fluent movie quotes, so it's better to give them something that says that and jingles to warn others before they can be caught up in a sticky conversation about reboots or the faults of the modern horror genre.
Movie Theater Gift Cards
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These S.o.B.'s are spending every penny on service subscriptions like Netflix, HBO, etc. just so they can stay ahead of the pack and watch everything as soon as it comes out. That being said, they probably wait the appropriate amount of time before streaming movies semi-illegally through a proxy on any number of pirating servers since they can't afford to purchase the movie themselves. Why not give them a chance to actually see those movies at the theaters?
Movie Buff: The World's Greatest Movie Trivia Card Game
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Although giving them another chance to show off probably isn't in your best interest, who cares if it's just one night? Gifting them a movie trivia game might even take them down a peg!
Any Director’s Collection
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They'll jump for joy upon receiving physical copies of what they consider to be masterpieces of gods. That being said, if they're real movie snobs, they have a favorite director without a doubt -- be sure to get them the right one, or you'll be sorry!
Hopefully, any number of these gifts will keep them down until next year. Kinda doubt it though.