This article is my gift to you.

It is a neat little present made by me that no one else can make because I made it special. I wrote it on a special computer, for a special website, all for free! Just for you. So appreciate it, or else.

This article is full of useful and useless information like Jenny doesn't like you and no, your hair doesn't look good today.

I wrote this article to give you my gift of knowledge and advice. I am sharing all that I know with you, even though you probably don't care or want it, your getting it anyways.

Maybe there is something political in here, like how Trump is a misogynistic crumb of a cheeto man with weird hair and small hands. I don't know, its all up to your interpretation.

Accept my gift to you. It's for you, made by me, posted on this website for FREE! I get nothing from this! Isn't that great?

You may be asking yourself, "self? why am I reading this trainwreck of an article?"

Because like a trainwreck, its hard to look away. So deal with it.

Like Guy Fieri once said on some show or another, I think, "Read all of that Courtney girls articles because they are the best out there." I may be paraphrasing a bit.

Do you know what else is great? Laughter. Laugh my monkeys. You are all so great. Ok. buh-bye now.