It is in our nature as humans to grow and evolve. We evolve our thoughts and our feelings. We grow and change each and every day. If we stayed the same our whole life, we would become boring and predictable. Sometimes people change so much that the only thing that is left from who they used to be, is in the memories of their friends and loved ones.
Events shape the way we see the world. They shape the way we interact with our surroundings and our friends and family. The things we say or do and the way we change, shapes who we become, and that is what every one goes through at some point in their lives. These events can be huge and life altering. They can make us do a complete 180 on something we believe to be true, either about the world or about ourselves. These events can be traumatic or they can be happy. But they end the same. They change and shape who we turn into and how we see the wold.
For example, the life changing decision of coming out. When you are in the process of coming out you have so many emotions that go through your head. These emotions alone can change you. When you decide to take the step to come out, you are afraid of how people are going to react. You are afraid of how people's perception of who you are is going to change, and you are afraid that they will no longer love and accept you. Sometimes your biggest fears are just that, fears. Other times, they are not just fears but actual reality. These reactions that you experience when you come out can change how you view your whole world. If you get negative reactions from people, you will view the whole process as negative and feel isolated and alone. Sometimes, you will even start to hate yourself and try to change who you are, just so you can have your friends and family back. The opposite can happen as well. If you get good reactions and overall acceptance from your loved ones, it can give you self-reassurance on who you are and how the people around you change your fears. The positive reaction can change how you feel and how you view the entire process of coming out.
Positive and negative events that happen in our lives affect and change us. We evolve our thought processes and our experiences shape us into the person we are meant to become. Sometimes our loved ones have a hard time accepting that change in us. They have a hard time recognizing that we are changing and growing up. So they hold onto the ghost that we used to be. They hold onto the memories of when we were what they wanted us to be like. But what they don't realize is, that even they are changing who they are by doing this. Everyone's actions change who they are. Their thoughts and opinions and feelings change who they are. And that is okay. We are allowed to change and grow.