Within the last few weeks, I have gotten back from winter break where I spent a lot of my time at home with my family. I love my family and I am totally fine with being with them all the time. I even got to spend some time with some really great friends that I haven't been able to see.
While home, I noticed a lot of my friends from high school were not answering me when I asked if they wanted to hang out before I went back to school. I was really hurt by this. I had a friend for years that I have not contacted since the summer, and I really didn't understand why she was ghosting me.
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After a lot of consideration and overthinking, I realized I had no room to be mad at her. If she didn't want to answer my texts or make any effort to see me over break, who am I to get mad over that?
At the end of the day, toxicity is invisible sometimes.
Maybe I couldn't tell I was not being a good friend to her, and that's fair enough. I cannot fault someone for cutting me out of their life if they believe they would have a better life without me.
I am not saying I am a completely toxic person.
I think I have always been a really good friend and person to everyone around me, but maybe that's not the case at all. I have made a lot of mistakes in the past when it comes to friends and relationships. Sometimes I can't see I am being a bad friend because I am a very extreme person.
A thing I like to think about is that I will never be able to see the person I am.
I will never be able to pass myself on the street, have a 2 sided conversation with myself, and I am not able to see what I am like from an outside perspective in friendships or relationships. You never will know how you completely come off to a person, so you have to learn to respect other peoples opinions of you and try to improve yourself if you feel you should.
So, at the end of the day, I really cannot fault people for cutting me out of their life/ ghosting me if that's what I always say I'll do to people if they are not good for my well being.
However, I don't think it's okay to ghost people with ill intentions. It is never okay to be blatantly rude to people in order to get back at them for something. I only believe this is not a terrible practice if it helps both of your situations out. Being honest with people is still the #1 way to communicate effectively, and that will reign true until the end of time.
The point of this article is to show that you have to see your own flaws.
I know I am not a perfect person at all, and I know I don't know everything about life and the way others perceive me.
