The girls who feel useless and used.
The girls who feel confused.
The girls who lie awake at night wondering just what they did wrong.
The girls who truly FEEL heartbreak. You feel this pain in your chest, in your heart, that keeps you awake at night. That hurts, that aches.
The girls who truly opened their hearts up just to be taken out and not quite handled with care.
The girls who became so comfortable around someone, and wonder how they'll ever open up again.
The ones who thought they'd never have to flirt again, date again.
The girls who feel like they'll never "get over".
I am that girl.
I decided to write this article on Day 2. I thought of writing this article to help with the pain, to let it out to someone who may care. Someone who may relate. Someone with a broken heart. I'm here to tell you that you're not alone. I'm not sure if this will work, but I pray that it will.
I wish i could tell you my previous relationship was full of fights, arguments, and how awful we were together. Toxic, I guess you could say. I wish I could tell you that, because it was everything but those things. It was everything but the "usual" break ups. My previous relationship was almost perfect. I say almost because distance is a pain in the ass - but, it wasn't a problem to me. Whether you had a toxic relationship, or you didn't - maybe you just got dumped, maybe your heart is just broken - either way. You're suffering, and this is for you.
Just a little insight on my situation..
Monday night, I will never forget hearing my biggest fear.
"We just don't feel right anymore." "You just don't feel right to me anymore."
What went wrong?
What did I do?
How could I have stopped this?
I hung up the phone, unable to process the words I had just heard. I felt played. I felt betrayed. I had never felt so alone. And I thought to myself..
How will I get over this?
To this day, I love him. He took pieces of my heart, that I will never get back. And because of that, I am sure that I will always love him.
I'm not here to bash on him, simply because I can't be mad that he didn't love me anymore.
You can't force anyone to feel a way that they just don't feel. But the problem was, my feelings had never changed.
I'm on Day 2. And let me be the one to tell you, it's not any easier than Day 1. It's Day 2, and I woke up sad. I woke up realizing that I'm still not in a dream. I woke up wondering what he's thinking, what's going through his head. Wondering if he misses me.
DON'T. DO. THAT. Avoid it at all costs.
Now, I'm not trying to sit here and make you more upset than you already are. I am here to tell you you're not alone.
Throughout this first week, I'm writing down Break-Up Do Not's and Tips, that helped me make it through.
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DON'T #1
Rebounds.
ABSOLUTELY NOT. I have read a numerous amount of articles stating you should "find a rebound". Let me just say, you get a rebound, and your heart will only hurt worse, and you will only miss that person even more.
You get out there and you meet new people when YOU feel you are ready. When you feel like your heart is healed, but you guard that heart with everything you have.
DON'T #2
Don't lock yourself away.
Give yourself a break from social media, give yourself a break to breathe. But please, don't keep yourself away from people who care about you. The people who care about you, are the people who will help you get through this.
Tip #1
Say this out loud, every morning you wake up.
"I am worthy. I am enough."
"I deserve better."
"I deserve someone who won't _________"
"I. Am. Strong. And I will overcome this."
You owe it to yourself.
Tip #2
Family and Friends are EVERYTHING. If you don't have any, you find them. You go out. You can confide in me. Watch funny videos, cook your favorite dinner, play "Alive" by Sia and sing at the top of your lungs in your car.
You. Are. Alive.
Tip #3
TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.
You're going to wonder why you weren't "enough". Enough, as in, pretty enough, skinny enough, curvy enough, funny enough, fun enough. Let me be the one to tell you, YOU are enough. Don't let any dumb boy make you think otherwise.
You're going to feel like you can't make it through. You're going to feel like food sounds absolutely disgusting. You're going to feel like you don't need to take a shower, put your makeup on, get dressed, and you're going to feel like staying in your bed and crying like a baby.
You need to get up, go to work, and stay busy.
Spend some quality time with yourself. I know this may sound funny, but for awhile, you've belonged to someone. Take a moment to belong to yourself. Take a shower, wash everything from him away. Do the most beautiful makeup look you have ever done. Get your nails done, go shopping. Put on a cute outfit, and do your hair. This time, don't do it for him.
Do it for you.
TIP #5
Make a list.
What did you not like about your ex? Jot these down. What did your ex do to you to make you sad? Jot those down, too. This list is a list of things you DONT want in a man. You read this list EVERY DAY.
And you don't settle for less.
Tip #6
Don't text him. And definitely don't call him.
If he's not making an effort to talk to you,
He doesn't want to.
It's going to be hard. You're going to want to text him goodmorning, pretend like nothing ever happened. You're going to want to bug him, wonder what he's doing.
Just DON'T.
Tip #7
FIND A HOBBY.
Find a hobby. Whether it's drawing, writing, singing, playing an instrument, just find something. And whatever you put into your relationship, put that into your hobby.
I promise you won't regret it.
It's Day 3, and I can honestly say, I laughed today. They always say that with each day, it gets better.
Day 2? I never would've even imagined laughing. I haven't heard from him, and I am okay. I miss him just as much as I did as Day 1, and maybe he doesn't.
Today is Friday. Today would've been 6 months of being together. Was it hard? Hell yes, this article is raw. I'm not going to sugar coat it.
I'm not going to tell you that I didn't think about him at all today.
I'm not going to tell you that I didn't think about the good times we had.
& I am most definitely not going to tell you that I don't miss him anymore.
But what I am going to do.. is I'm going to leave this on a good note.
You're going to follow all of these tips. You're going to wake up in the morning, and you're going to smile, because you're alive. There are so many horrible things that could be happening in your life. So horrible, that heartbreak is NOTHING compared to it.
I'm not telling you that it's not okay to hurt.
It's okay to cry - PLEASE cry. Let it out. You're human. You have feelings. Don't hide those feelings.
I can't believe I'm saying it.. It's Day 4, and I am CERTAIN that I will get over this.
And you will, too.
Most importantly,
always remember God is on your side.
Psalm 147:3 - He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.
I believe in you.
Here's to getting over.
xoxo
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