I’m getting really tired of being underestimated. I'm even more tired of people trying to pass off really hurtful things as advice. I'm going to give myself some credit this week, because I feel like I really don't get enough sometimes. My facade is carefully crafted. I'm the quirky, nerdy, little pushover who does everything perfectly. I tell all the right jokes and finish all assignments on time and do everything that is asked of me, always. But see, I really don't have a choice. People often see me get upset over things that they think I needn't worry about. Often times they say that I am overreacting, and that I know that I'm going to manage everything in the end. And I do, because I have no other choice to. If I have no one to turn to on my moments of need, of course I'm going to have to deal with it on my own.
I've been working towards a goal for a really long time now. That goals has been trying to go to college and become a teacher since I've started middle school. And in order to do that, I've needed to be a really great student. I have been, and you can believe that. I'm a total “pleasure to have in class.” I've always had to rely on myself for everything, in terms of my schooling. No one told me how to get to my goal, I made my own way to it. I bring this up because, this week I was told I'd be wasting my life if I went ahead with it.
Now I'm not sure if some of you can relate, but when you've been working yourself to the bone to make something happen, and someone who's supposed to support you just tears your work to shreds like that, it hurts. You cannot offer nothing but negativity to someone who's trying their hardest to get what they want in life. I have spent so many years in isolation, studying and worrying and self-destructing and rebuilding myself all on my own. And I don't need someone who is doing nothing to help to put their two cents in.
My message this week is nothing but simple. Stop acting like someone else's success is your own failure. If someone in your life is progressing, and taking control of their life, and shaping the future they want, then screw you for making them feel terrible about it. I was told this week that I am wasting my time and it was by someone who doesn't even know how my time was spent! Suffice to say that it doesn't matter how well you say grace, if you're sitting at a table with nothing to offer. Meaning, if you're not going to help, then YOU are wasting MY time.
