If you've seen the Pixar-produced/Disney-released The Incredibles, then I'm sure you're familiar with what a mid-life crisis looks like.
Mid-life crisis: the feeling of being stuck or of having limited opportunities, maybe even feeling depressed due to a lack of achievement. Usually takes place in one's 40s.
Example: like when Bob gets called out of his tiny office cubicle to have what looks like a routine conversation with his obsessive-compulsive and controlling boss and he sees a crime that he has the ability to stop through his boss's window but he can't because his boss threatens to fire him if he leaves the office.
That right there is a mid-life crisis, so let's talk about quarter-life crises. The Muse said it best in describing the usual victims as "highly driven and smart, but struggling because they feel they're not achieving their potential or feeling they're falling behind."
In other words, you don't feel like you're where you should be at in life.
You are full of ambition and intelligence, but you find yourself lost in a world with endless possible career paths.
You spent your entire college career building your resume for a job that isn't changing the world the way that you envisioned.
You want to have a family in the future but your schedule is so jam-packed right now that you don't even know how to find the time to date.
You, selfless and unconditionally loving, are determined to save lives but you're stuck working two part-time jobs to pay for your undergraduate degree.
You, the friend who supports every peer and is always present in times of need, feel left behind when your friends graduate from college, start their careers, start having families, and move onto different chapters in their lives.
Needless to say, the possibilities are endless, but you get the point. If you're feeling stuck, here are the best ways to figure things out:
Stop stressing
If you're that person who doesn't know what they want to do yet, don't stress about it. If you push yourself into random things, you're wasting your time and you can tire yourself out. Imagine how mentally exhausting it would be to try one career path, drop it, pick up another, quit that, too, and repeat the same routine. That will take a toll on your mental health because you'll have yourself thinking that you're either not good at anything or that you'll never find what it is that you're good at. It's like when newly graduated high school students enter their first year of college--undetermined is an option for a reason. Use it if you need to.
On another note, for those who have college degrees, don't stress about finding a career in it. Don't let your degree define you--that degree is an open door but it's not the only one.
Take a breather
Tell yourself that it's going to be okay. You won't believe yourself at first, but trust me, it will be. Quarter-life crises tend to affect those in their mid 20s to early 30s, but let's talk about those who are ahead of their time.
If you are ahead in school, you are probably stressing about the same things.
If you are taking a break from school, you are probably stressing about the same things.
If you are looking for a purpose in life, you are probably stressing about the same things.
The point is, a quarter-life crisis is like a mid-life crisis but for a slightly younger group, so essentially it can happen at any age. These worries are temporary and we all move on so stop worrying, breath, and enjoy your youth while you can.
Make some changes
There is too much out there to explore to be holed up in your office or at the bookstore, doing research on endless numbers of careers. Try a new sport, take up a dance class, change your diet up, try some new food, make some small changes to your life. My personal favorite--do some traveling. Just don't go overboard, financially. At this age, life feels monotonous, with school, work, and maybe some extracurricular activities. Essentially, we see the same faces, inhabit the same environments, and perform the same routines. Change can be scary but it allows room for growth. Change can be good.
Treat yourself
Go out with your friends, find time for that favorite hobby that you left back in high school, read more, just do more. Surround yourself with people who uplift you to help with any relationship or career insecurities. Do more things that make you happy to reduce the time spent worrying about your future. Read more to learn more; whether it's the newspaper, a book, or even the comics. The Muse suggests "volunteering, starting a blog, or maybe even a little side business where you sell something" which is great advice because maybe it will lead to bigger things for your future. Do what makes you happy and grow from there.
Learn to let go
As we get older, the meaning of friendship becomes vague. We get busy--we get adult jobs, we go to school, we have kids, we get deployed. It's difficult keeping up with those around us when our schedules no longer align but it's just another fact of life to accept. It won't be easy but most of the time we have to let go of our friends in order to let them reach their full potential. Or sometimes so that we can reach our own full potential. It's like I said, change can be good.
If your friend can't meet up for your usual coffee dates, you might have to schedule a phone call. One of my best friends moved away for college but we'll text each other with important news and schedule a phone call for soon after so that we can elaborate and catch up in full detail. Another one of my friends is spending a semester abroad, touring Austria, France, Rome, and many more, but we still talk daily, not to mention I basically live vicariously through her Snapchat stories. It really doesn't take that much effort.
...especially when it's bad for you
If you're constantly contacting someone and you rarely ever hear back, maybe it's time to take a step back. They might be busy, they might text you back later, maybe they'll even give you a call, but don't stress yourself out over someone who doesn't have a minute to ask you how you're doing every now and then. They'll let you know later how they had to pull three doubles that weekend. They'll tell you about how stressful those three finals were. Friendships should be mutual in effort, no matter how busy someone is.
When it comes to relationships though, part of growing up is meeting new people. The thing about meeting new people at this age is that not everyone is at the same place. Some people are still figuring themselves out. Some people have already been through that. Either way, it's okay because everyone needs to learn about themselves before trying to learn others. Just keep in mind that if things end ambiguously, it's not because you're not good enough. Some people just are not yet ready to handle how much you have to offer.
Then there are people with bad intentions. Like I said, friends will make time for you. And when it comes to significant others, they need to make time for you. Not necessarily to see you everyday, but at least to let you know that you're on their mind at some point throughout their busy day. If that's not the minimum, you'll find yourself stressing out about what you're doing wrong, when you might hear from them next, if they're experiencing anything life-changing that you're not aware of, or maybe even what the point is. The person you pursue a relationship should be the person you want next to you when you've finally made it, and the feeling should always be mutual. Don't ever let anyone make you feel like you're not worthy of a minute of their time.
Hang in there
You will graduate, you will figure out your career path, and you will get through this. Stop wasting your time worrying because that alone will not change a single thing. Remember that you don't have to be in this alone. Take the time to cleanse your life of negative thoughts and vibes. Just hang in there and keep doing what you're doing.
