Breakups are one of the hardest things that one ever has to go through; I wouldn't wish that kind of pain on my worst enemy.
Your heart aches and you feel physically ill. I never thought that I would ever get through it, but believe it or not, life continues to go on with or without you. Once you realize this, it is imperative to begin taking the steps to getting back on track with your life. Here are just a few ways that I got my life back.
Self Care!
One of the best things that I discovered during this difficult time were baths. I used to never like baths. The thought of sitting in your own filth was extremely unappealing to me, but add some wine and a bath bomb, and a bath becomes your saving grace. There is nothing better to come home from a long day and taking a warm, well-deserved bath to calm your thoughts.
Write out your feelings in a journal.
Journaling was one of the best outlets I could have ever found. There is something about releasing your thoughts and feelings from your mind to paper that is so invigorating. A journal does not judge you. You can literally right every single worry, thought or emotion that is going through your head. The best thing about journaling is that you can later look back on these written thoughts and realize how far you have come.
Surround yourself around people who truly care about you.
If there is any good thing about a breakup, it is definitely the realization of how amazing your friends and family are. During this time, I have become even closer with my friends because they have been there for me when no one else was. The people that are there for you at your darkest times are the people you need to keep around because they are the people that truly know your heart.
Keep yourself busy.
My saving grace this summer has been keeping busy! When you stay busy, you are keeping your mind distracted and are not allowing yourself to escape to that dark place. Work out, take up a hobby, invest more time in work or make fun plans with your friends; anything to keep your mind off things.
Allow yourself time to grieve the relationship.
It took me a full month to finally understand that we were not getting back together anytime soon. For some people, it may take two weeks, and for others, it may take two months. It is completely okay to allow yourself time to grieve. A breakup is a loss of someone you love or loved. Also, remember that allowing yourself time to grieve and allowing yourself time to move on are two completely different things. It may take many months or even years for you to finally move on, but accepting that it is over is the first step.
Do not let your sadness consume you.
This was my first real heartache. In my mind at the time, I had lost the love of my life and it was all my fault. Day after day, I continued to beat myself up. At the time, I saw no light at the end up the tunnel. I became obsessed with my sadness; it was almost comforting in a way. If for some reason, something made me smile or laugh, I got upset with myself for allowing myself to be happy. Little did I know that I was being consumed by my sadness. I had forgotten what the happy-go-lucky version of me was like. Just remember that it is more than okay to be sad, but try not to let those emotions become the better part of you.
Take this difficult time as a way to become stronger and independent.
It may not seem like it now, but you are on your way to becoming much stronger. Sometimes you have to go through the hardest times to blossom into a stronger version of yourself. I have learned that I can live an independent life on my own without him. Before all of this, I would have never been able to say that.
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