For all students going to college and living on-campus, it's fairly common knowledge that college campuses are a veritable Petri dish for all types of colds, flus, and other viruses. This is especially true at the beginning of the semester when everyone is coming back from vacation and bringing a variety of micro-biomes with them. Getting sick during college can be very stressful because it throws a monkey wrench into the balancing act of classes, jobs, and extracurricular activities that many of us are juggling. These sorts of illnesses tend to progress in stages that most people can identify with.
1. Pre-sickness anxiety
"I don't know what you're talking about. This has always been my favorite outfit!"
Walking around campus, you start to see more and more people with puffy eyes and raspy voices. Your friends start dropping like flies and canceling plans or missing classes with a dejected, "Sorry, I'm sick!" At first, you try to do everything in your power to avoid it: using hand sanitizer on a regular basis, getting lots of vitamin C, and treating all human contact as a potential health hazard. However, you know with almost absolute certainty that somewhere out there is a virus or bacteria with your name on it. It's no longer a matter of if, but when.
2. The initial sore throat
"I'm not sick, I'm just allergic to all your nonsense."
You wake up one morning and feel that tell-tale tickle in the back of your throat. At first, it goes away as the day goes on, so you try to chalk it up to something else like dehydration, eating scratchy foods, or talking too much (even though you've probably been pretty quiet lately). Avoidance turns into flat-out denial as you start to experience more and more symptoms and try to find an explanation other than sickness to explain all of them.
3. Cleaning out the pharmacy
Okay, so you've finally come to terms with the fact that you've got the bug. The logical next step is to go to your local CVS and buy everything that says "Cold/Flu Symptom Relief" on the bottle. You've got stuff to help you stay awake and stuff to help you fall asleep and stuff to make your voice sound more human and stuff to clear your sinuses.
4. Using more tissues than you ever thought possible
"Who knew something so commonplace could bring up so many unanswerable questions?"
Your illness is finally in full swing. Your voice is several octaves lower than usual, and it feels like your throat is getting back at you for wronging it in some way. The amount of tissues you use to empty your sinuses seem to violate the laws of physics. Where is it all coming from? The world may never know.
5. Using your illness as justification to eat everything in sight
"These cupcakes are going straight to my immune system."
At this point you've started to feel pretty terrible and you just want to lay in bed and watch TV. Unfortunately, classes don't stop, so you have to try to force yourself to go, or at least study on your own so you don't get behind. In the meantime, the only thing left to do is eat everything. There are popsicles, ice cream, tea, and soup for your sore throat, and then general comfort foods for your mental well-being. Besides, you need energy to fight off the infection, right? That's definitely how biology works.
6. Desperately trying outrageous home remedies
All the Dayquil and Nyquil you've been taking hasn't really been cutting it. Not to mention, you're now more than a little concerned about your liver just giving out at some point. The next thing to do is take to the Internet to look for home remedies for your symptoms, some of which are more bizarre than others. You'll even go to some pretty unreliable sources for cures out of desperation, leading to an interaction like, "My best friend's sister's hypnotherapist recommends putting lemon juice in both ears while standing on your head for three minutes and singing Christmas carols. He also owns a yoga studio in the West Village, so you know he's legit."
7. Begrudgingly forcing yourself to take on responsibilities
"Even Rocky had a montage."
You tried to get extensions on as much as possible, and maybe you were successful. At this point, though, you've pretty much used up all of your professors' patience and leniency. Now it's time to buckle down and get caught up. You've never been more organized or focused in your life. [Cue Rocky-esque montage.]
8. Return to real life
