Ah, the weekend. That blissful second where you don't have to worry about going to school or work. If you go to a giant party school like me, then your weekend probably starts Thursday night -- or Wednesday if you're into Greek life.

Depending on your personality, you may be anywhere from a complete party animal to a simple homebody. I like to sit right there in the middle. I normally choose one night to go out with friends and dance the night away.

However, anyone who knows at least one girl can attest to the fact that getting from point A to an actual party takes an act of Congress. There are so many variables that we females have to account for -- Rome wasn't built in a day, amirite?

I chose "Spongebob" to illustrate the struggles of a girl's night out because 1) he is all-time bae; and 2) he's universally known as being a great storyteller. OK, I don't know if that last point is 100 percent true, but that doesn't matter.

1. The "let's go out tonight" text

This signals to other females that it's time to bring out the heels and push-up bras.

2. Figuring out where to go

This is a lot easier said than done. Most parties are just hearsay, but some have actual Facebook pages. Most of the night is actually spent either trying to figure out where a party is or wandering around to different ones.

3. Getting ready

There's a lot that goes into this step. First you have to figure out who's place you're going to trash get ready at. Next, you have to decided what everyone is wearing -- this is a collective effort because you don't want someone wearing heels when someone else is wearing flats!

4. Calling the Uber

Yes, this is its own step. And yes, it is a big deal.

5. Finding other friends at the party

"Wait, do we know anyone here?" "It's gonna be so awkward if it's just us." "Screw it, let's just find the bar."

6. Deciding whose boy we're going to stalk all night

Pretty self-explanatory.

7. Saying to heck with boys and dancing the night away with your best friends

This is the most important step. Because, in the end, you know it's not going to be that guy Jack* from your stats class who holds your hair as you puke in some stranger's toilet, it's going to be your best friend who will probably help you change and get into bed too.

Sometimes a night out is just what the doctor ordered, and sometimes it's just too much damn work. But as long as you have your besties (and "Spongebob") by your side, things will work themselves out.

P.S. Forgot to add: Pretending to be your friend's lesbian lover to get the creepy guy from the bar away from her.

*No, I do not have a guy that I like named Jack. Just wanted to clear that up before all the Jacks of the world start wondering if they're the Jack I'm talking about. This is not a Taylor Swift song.