If you have ever been in any sort of relationship, you have most definitely gone through the awful “talking” stage. This is essentially the time when you first meet someone and your relationship is based solely off of Snapchatting, with the occasional conversation via text thrown in there, while hanging out here and there. Things aren’t quite at the point where they are serious, and you are both too afraid to discuss what is exactly going on here.
Both parties try to act totally cool and careless, meanwhile, on the inside, they are both wondering the same exact thing, “What the hell are we?!” The confusion is by far the worst part of this stage, coupled with the inconsistency, texting all day one day and the next having him be radio silent, with the exception of his one streaks snap of the day.
The worst part of it all is that that is totally acceptable, since, after all, you guys aren’t technically anything meaning that neither one of you really has a responsibility or obligation to reach out to the other on a regular basis.
You are constantly wondering how long this should go on. You assume that he should be the one to instigate “the talk” about whether or not to make things official. But now months and months have gone on and things seem to be painfully the same as they were since day one.
You see each other regularly, act all couplely, text (occasionally), and of course, snapchat all day long. Lines are starting to get blurred and you start to see no difference between your current situation and being in a “real” relationship. You then start to contemplate whether or not you should start making assumptions regarding your relationship status.
One day you decide that whatever is going on here needs to be addressed. You bring up your concerns to him and ask him what he wants with you. He doesn’t seem to really have a definite response, he says that he’s into you and wants to see where things go, only furthering the cycle of uncertainty. All of the sudden he starts acting weird. He starts leaving your snaps on "opened," refraining from even sending you his daily half-face streaks snap and leaving your, "How’s your day going?” texts on read.
Days go on and he is still radio-silent, leaving you to expect only the worst. The texts you sent inquiring as to what happened and asking to see him are still left on read. You start to accept that he’s ghosted you and it is possibly one of the worst feelings you’ve experienced. You have so many questions and you want so many answers, and you must come to terms with the fact that you are not are never going to get these answers.
You realize what a strange situation you are now in, and how you must get over someone who was never even yours. This is not like a normal breakup. There are no pictures on your camera roll to delete, no anniversary Instagram posts or things of his to burn. Instead, you are left with the “what ifs” and being forced to move on from someone with absolutely no closure, no reason and no way to make sense of it.
In so many ways, this form of a “breakup” is by far the worst, most painful, and least talked about, unrightfully so. If this sounds familiar to you, all I can say is I know how you feel. Being upset over someone who was never yours doesn’t make you crazy, it is completely normal.
Although it will certainly take time to recover, you are certainly going to move on. You deserve so much better and I promise you will find someone who answers your texts and treats you right.
