The morning after you wake up with red puffy eyes, a pain in your chest, mascara running down your face and then it all comes flooding back to you; all the hurtful words he said to you last night and you feel the lump in your throat. You sit up in bed and swallow the lump. A tear comes running down your face and you can't stop it, followed by another. You begin sobbing and your mother comes in your bedroom and lays down with you. She tells you words of comfort, plays with your hair, but none of it helps the fact that your heart was ripped out of your chest.

You check your phone. The usual group chat messages, a few snap chats from last night but nothing from him. That usual "good morning beautiful" text with emojis and hearts does not appear. The tears keep flowing. You hug your favorite stuffed animal and let it all sink in. Re-playing the entire night over and over in your head. Every message that was lost in context, his actions, his words, his laugh, his face. You will never get to touch his face again and look at him while thinking about how much you love him.

You get out of bed and head for the shower. You turn on the water and try to keep from crying. You step in and sit down. You don't have the strength to stand up. You sit there with your head between your knees with the water coming down on you, love songs station on on Pandora and bawl some more. It doesn't stop. Last night keeps playing over and over in your head.

How can someone who loves you get so mad at you and just get up and leave you like that? Yelling at you in front of people at the bar, you're frozen in fear and embarrassment. He says "You know what? You're not worth my time anymore!" He turns around and leaves. Your friends grab you and take you home before you lose it in the bar. You make it to your friends car and lose it. They take you home and tell your mom what happened.

You try to get yourself to stop thinking about it. No matter how hard you try, you just cant stop. The memory is constant and it isn't going away any time soon.

You shut off the water, step out of the shower and open your draw of sweatpants. You look at his and sit on the floor of your room crying some more. You find your favorite old pair and throw them on. You open your tee shirt draw, avoid touching his shirts and slip on your University tee shirt. You head down stairs and sit at the kitchen table with your father. You keep quiet to keep from crying, but that lump is back again. You look up at your father with tears in your eyes and lose it again. Your mother puts eggs, toast and pancakes in front of you but you cant eat. You hold up the toast to your mouth and take a nibble, spit it out and give it to your dog. Your father sighs and asks what happened and you cry harder just thinking of last night. You curl up on the floor with your dog crying. Your mother sits down next to you and doesn't say anything. She rubs your back and tells you to go lay in bed and pick a movie on Netflix and she will join you. You sit in bed under your covers too numb to move.

Your phone vibrates. It's him. "When can I get my stuff?" You begin shaking and the tears are back again. You begin to think about how could he not want to fix things with you and try to make things better? You don't respond right away. He can see that you read his message so you let it sit. You call your best friend. She is already on her way over to your house.

When she and your mother walk in your room you begin crying again. Your friend packs all his stuff up in a box and sets it on the porch. You respond to his message with "It's on the porch in a box.". He reads it and doesn't answer. You pick a movie to watch with your friend and mother so you can all cry together.

You're too distracted by your own heart break to even focus on the movie. You stare at the screen and wonder how it could be different if you didn't freeze, if you knew what to say. If you chased after him instead of standing there like an idiot. You remind yourself that it's not your fault he blew up at you for talking to an old friend at the bar, and leaving his side with out telling him, and you remember how he took your phone and went through it seeing the messages with your old friend. Why is he so insecure about you talking to an old friend who is back in town? Why doesn't he trust you?

It's not like you cheated on him. You texted an old friend to meet you at the bar. After 6 months together, you would think he could trust you. You begin to think if you haven't texted that old friend that everything would be different and you would be much happier.

You begin to cry again reminded of the memories of what used to be. Your mom pauses the movie, you look up at the screen and see a Deer Park water bottle. You cry because that was the brand of water that his family drank. Your friend sees right away why you cried even harder and laughs and plays it so the screen isn't showing the water bottle anymore. She pauses it again, laughs and says "It's going to be a long process before we can go in public again."

Then you hear a car door. The three of you crowd your bedroom window to see him get out of his car and walk up to your porch. Your best friend opens your window and screams "DOUCHEBAG!" (which is out of character for her) and you and your mother begin cracking up. She slams the window shut and looks back at you smiling.

Right there in that moment is when you realize with the right people by your side who care about you, you will get through this. You do not have to go through this alone.

Your friend smiles at you and asks if you're up for ice cream. So the two of you go out for ice cream and are sitting down inside the ice cream parlor when the guy who served you your ice cream comes over and says "You clearly got broken up with and I want you to know that even in sweat pants, old tee shirt, puffy red eyes, and no make up that you are absolutely beautiful and I would like to take you on a date to show you how you deserve to be treated by a gentleman." He puts his number written on a napkin on the table and walks away. Your friend is staring at you with her mouth open and eyes wide. She begins cracking up and you roll your eyes, smile, and you look forward to this new single life.

I can promise you that he will regret losing you. He will regret not being able to talk to you calmly about something so stupid and insignificant. He will regret walking away form you and yelling at you like he did. You will not regret not chasing after him. You will be happy without him. You will find someone who loves you just as much as you love him, maybe even more. You will find someone who matches the effort you put in. You will find true love one day. Just be patient.