Now that we're a few weeks into the new school year, the inevitable has happened: cold season is here. It seems like everyone and their roommate are sick and you can't go to class without feeling like you're surrounded by people who are about to cough up a lung. When the unavoidable happens and you, too, succumb to this disease, you realize all the wonderful things about life that you've been taking for granted in your good health...
1. The freedom to go places without a box of tissues.
You don't dare leave your dorm or apartment without a box of tissues because we all know college professors don't bother to stock their rooms with tissues and you never know when the floodgates in your nose are going to open up. At this point, Kleenex should just sponsor you because you're a walking ad.
2. The ability to taste your food.
Unless it was cooked with eight jalapeños you might as well not even bother because there's no way you're going to be able to taste it. Even Mom's chicken noodle soup doesn't appeal to you unless you add four tablespoons of hot sauce to it first.
3. People sitting next to you in class.
One little sniffle and you suddenly find that no one is sitting within a three-seat radius of you. It kind of makes you feel like you're in exile, but you can't really blame them because you were doing the same thing the day before...
4. Oxygen.
If you could, you'd be walking around with an oxygen tank and mask because your nose certainly isn't doing the job on its own.
5. Having a nose that doesn't make you look like Rudolph.
By the end of the day, your new nickname is Rudolph because your nose is raw and swollen from all the times you've blown it. The sad thing is, you don't even think Santa would want you because you're in such rough shape.
6. Your friends actually wanting to hang out with you.
Them: "Hey, want to hang out tonight?"
You: "Sure, I just can't stay out that late because I'm not feeling well."
Them: "You know what, I actually just remembered I have to study tonight for an exam tomorrow. Sorry, maybe another time."
You: "But it's Saturday..."
Them: ...
7. Not feeling like you're a disease-spreading monster every time you breath or touch something.
You can practically feel your germs spreading every time you exhale and you're almost certain that you're going to contaminate anything and anyone you come in contact with.
8. Using your discretionary income for something other than cough drops and tissues.
At this point, you're single-handedly keeping Walgreens in business. If Kleenex isn't going to sponsor you, Walgreens should.
9. Not having to yell to hear your own voice.
To yourself, you sound like you're whispering because your ears are so plugged up, but you soon realize that everyone in the library is turning around to give you dirty looks because you're actually yelling.
10. Making it through a lecture without sneezing 27 times.
If your sniffly nose hasn't already given you up and scared away everyone sitting near you in class, the sneezing (or coughing) is sure to. Get ready to start being treated like you have the Black Plague.
Even though it seems like every cold is going to last for an eternity, before you know it you'll be back to normal and will be taking all of these things for granted until the next time sick season strikes. Until then, though, you better stock up on a few more boxes of tissues.
