Whether you like to admit it or not, you have probably had the unfortunate experience of being on somebody's bench at some point in your lifetime. It is not a pleasant experience, in fact, it actually sucks. Whatever the excuse is, whether it's "the timing isn't right," or "I don't want to be tied down," or even the "I'm too busy" excuse, it isn't fair to you and whoever else may be involved.
In case you are on the fence whether you're being benched or not, here are some signs that you might be sitting on:
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- They never fully commit to plans.
- You always feel stressed about your relationship or lack thereof.
- You are always the one making the effort or texting first.
- They give nothing but mixed signals.
Assuming that this is the fate you've taken on with this particular person, it can leave you wallowing in self-pity. Being "benched" could really affect your confidence. Batter Up, because you are about to get off that bench and run with these five tips:
1. Be Straightforward.
You will feel so relieved if you just have the conversation that defines the relationship. You won't have to ask any more questions, and you won't have to keep guessing.
2. Take Some Time To Treat Yourself.
Buy a new outfit, take a mini vacation or do a face mask and drink some tea. Relaxation is your best bet when trying to calm down and be stress-free. You deserve to be number one to someone else, and to yourself.
3. Seek Your Independence.
You don't NEED a significant other, even though you may tell yourself that you do. As many people say, let love find you! Sometimes it is easier said than done, but maybe if you stop searching and let life take its course, you'll be surprised at the outcome. This way, you're not making all the effort to be first in someone's life, rather they WANT you to be the one and only.
4. Keep Yourself Busy.
Pick up a hobby, hang out with friends more often, learn a language, anything! Keeping your mind off of the situation will help you remain stress-free. Who knows, maybe your new hobby will give you a common connection with someone new.
5. DO NOT SETTLE.
Just because you are currently benched, does not mean that you have to sit on the bench forever. Do not settle for less than satisfactory behavior and treatment from someone.
You are ultimately your own person. You create your morals and values, and it is your responsibility to follow them. Why would you willingly sulk over someone who has no idea what they want? That will only hold you and your potential back. You deserve to start the team, not sit the bench.
