Since the day my Georgia Southern shenanigans began, back in the fall of 2011, I have noticed that people occasionally look at me in disbelief and shock when I make comments about how I grew up on a farm. And it is usually over topics I thought were common knowledge.
So for all my city-faring friends, here are some things I never questioned growing up on a farm, that I am rather disturbed you didn't always know.
1. Peanuts grow in the ground, on a vine. Not on a bush, not on a tree -- on a vine.
2. There is no such thing as a "boy cow" or a "boy chicken." You can tell an animal's gender by what it's called, like a bull or rooster.
3. Meat comes from animals, not just a package at the grocery store.
4. You cannot hatch chicks from grocery store eggs.
5. Breeding animals is a damn science in and of itself. It is also an industry.
6. You can order semen from a catalog to breed female animals. It comes packed in liquid nitrogen.
7. You can also order day old chicks by the dozen from a catalog and they will ship right to your door.
8. There is a difference between a livestock animal and a pet.
9. Everything dies, at some point.
10. And some animals die so that you can eat them, so don't get too attached.
11. Boston Butt is a pig's shoulder and ham is actually cut from the butt, so remember that next time you order Jimmy John's.
12. Cow tipping is not a regular pastime of farm dwellers. It can actually kill the cows, which kills a farmer's profits.
13. Sometimes it is more humane to end life than to let an animal live in suffering.
14. Knowing the weather matters for more than just picking your outfit for the day, it can literally predict how much money you will make that year.
15. Rain is a good thing, unless it is the wrong time of year -- then it kind of screws you over.
16. The weather man is usually an idiot , because he never says it's gonna rain when you need it to.
17. Naked and hungry: that is where you would be without farmers like my daddy.
Hope y'all enjoyed that brief agri-cation, but more importantly, I hope you learned some valuable, real world information. Knowledge is power, except in agriculture because everything is a game of blackjack where mother nature is the dealer and the deck is mostly face cards. And mother nature likes to deal dirty when she gets in a mood. But that's a whole different rant right there. So, until next time, ladies and gents, have fun and make good choices.
(Above is actually a picture of where I grew up. Isn't it beautiful?)
