To read Part 1 of the Idol of the Individual series, click here.
It seems to me that we have internalized a view of ourselves that is both arrogant and dangerous. We have taken hold of the idea that we are somehow entitled to existence. This is a desperate attempt to explain the fact that we have being. Any such attempt, however, is predicated on an illusion. There can be no self-justification of our existence. We exist, but that is a strange and beautiful surprise.
Those who work most tirelessly to explain their own existence typically fall into one of two camps. The first camp seems to think that we have a “right” to exist. This right, if we actually possessed it, would be the most sacred of all, I would think. Put simply, it is this: because I exist, I deserved existence. This, however, is a non sequitur. Imagine a time when I did not exist: did I deserve it then? Did I, while I was not, deserve to be? Of course not, because there was no "me" to deserve it. Some might try to get around this argument by claiming that being and nonbeing are timeless concepts, so any discussion of pre-existence is pointless. This sets up a strange and problematic paradigm, however, where there is some nebulous concept of “me” which was there from eternity. I literally cannot think of a more egotistical way of seeing the world. I hate to break it to you, but you are not eternally existent. You were brought into the world in a particular place and time, and so you will leave it. Now, because you were in fact given the gift of life, you have the right to continue living. Any and all life is inherently precious. But hold onto this gift with loose fingers, recognizing that you did nothing to deserve it. Can you choose to be born? Can you choose to become conscious? No. The very fact of your existence is something forced upon you, strange as it sounds. What better gift could one possibly receive?
The second type of justification is more difficult to pin down and to argue with because it is not so selfish at first glance. It makes the individual into just as much of an idol, though. Its proponents claim, with sincere voices and bright eyes, “the world needs me.” Once again, I will be the bad guy and say what needs to be said. No, the world does not actually “need you.” Many of our truisms contribute to this deception. “You do you, because no one else can.” “You are unique; there is no one else like you.” Even some more pseudo-scientific concepts such as Ricardo’s Law of Comparative Advantage tell the individual that he contains something which the world desperately needs. None of those things are intrinsically false, but they miss the point. Yes, you have amazing talents and no one else alive can “do you” as well as you can. But here is the punch to the gut, and believe me when I say that it is hard to stomach at first: it did not have to be that way. You could have been someone else. You could have not been born at all. Cosmically speaking, the world could have functioned without you. You did not need to exist. But consider an even more profound mystery: you do. For some reason, unknown to you or me or any other mortal, you were brought into the world to live, love and do good.
In the end, then, we are left with no answer. There is no simple justification for our existence, not from our point of view anyway. It is inexplicable. Yet here we are. It was not “necessary” that I became a part of this world. Until I became a being, there was no cosmic reason that I needed to exist. If anything, it goes against the natural way of things for something new to be created. My beginning was an event. It was forceful. On the other hand, neither did the world owe me anything. I did not “deserve” the life I live because I originally had no way to deserve it, or even to desire it. I do possess a right to live, but only because that right was once entrusted to me. I am not entitled to my comfortable little corner of the universe simply “because I am.” In other words, I am – not because I had to be or because I merited it, but because it is so. I am because it was deemed good that I should be. G.K. Chesterton said, roughly, that love is a virtue because it extends to that which is unlovable. In the same way, I rejoice in the goodness, the love, that allows me to live, even though I did not exist to deserve it.
Take some time to pause and reflect. Reflect on your existence. When was the last time you woke up in the morning and felt a sweet joy simply because you did so? Our existence is not just a fact; it is a scandal. We have been given a radical thing called life. Let us live it in acknowledgment of the shocking, paradoxical and lavish gift that it is.
