I'm following up on last week's article, Gender Roles & the Media Part 1, which talked about how CBS's Life in Pieces was sending positive and progressive messages to women with their sketch "Baby Shower" that made miscarrying seem, although still hard, very normal and natural.

This time I wanted to talk about Jane the Virgin, which is one of my absolute favorite shows. It's a satirical tele-novella (spanish soap opera) and it's in its third season. The lead actress Gina Rodriguez, who plays the title character, won the 2015 Golden Globe for Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series - Comedy or Musical.

SPOILERS BEYOND THIS POINT FOR ANYONE NOT CAUGHT UP WITH THE SHOW TO DATE

The only thing that's ever bothered me about the show (really, the only thing I haven't flat-out loved) has been the show's treatment of the sensitive issue of virginity. As alluded to in the title, Jane is a virgin when the show starts out (the premise is that she gets accidentally, artificially inseminated). Jane stays a virgin throughout her pregnancy in season one and even throughout raising her son Mateo in season two. It's only in season three, after Jane gets married, that she finally has sex for the first time.

Granted, there are other times that she comes close, but something is always holding her back--usually the framed crumpled flower that her Abuela used to demonstrate how a woman "can never be made to look new again" (i.e. can never be whole or untarnished again). It says something to Jane's psyche that she decided to frame the flower and hang it over her bed.

Not to say that abstinence until marriage is a bad choice--I respect everyone's individual decision. My beef is with the fact that sex, or more importantly, loss of virginity is shown as a sinful act, something to be ashamed of. Now before you go off and say that it is all those things, remember that none of the male characters are held to this standard. They are relative sex idols, used to taunt Jane and test her will.

But loss of virginity for young women is a touchy subject, especially in America. Often, its creepily guarded by their fathers. Often, girls don't get the education they need about the subject because of the stigmas and aura of shame surrounding it. Often, this sense of shame can lead to unsavory situations, such as rape and abortion.

Even if the girl has a good experience though, society has trained her to feel as if she's "lost" or "given up" something. As if her virginity were a treasure that she carelessly surrendered (to a roguish pirate, as I'm sure some parents wildly imagine).

Women shouldn't be defined by whether or not they are sexually active. They're human beings and no ones business but theirs. I didn't feel like I "lost" anything when I had sex for the first time or all the times I've had it since. Honestly, I feel like I gained a whole new facet of myself. I came to know myself as a women; one with desires and needs that mattered.

So when Jane finally lost her virginity in Chapter Forty-Seven, I cheered! Sadly though, Jane didn't. She struggled with those feelings of loss and regret and transformation and even a little bit of shame despite her marital state. So when Jane confesses to her mother Xiomara that she feels like she "lost part of [her] identity," Xo comforts her, saying, "I blame the flower...you feel like you've lost something and you didn't. You've just gained something. A whole new dimension of your life, your relationship."

And finally, I can be at peace with my favorite show for telling young women everywhere that A) sex is healthy and natural and does not "ruin" you, B) that means as long as you wait for the right person--someone who loves you--like Jane did, that it's okay, and C) not everything happens in the order it's supposed to--basically the theme of the entire show.

P.S. Another thing I really love about this is that its subliminally says it's okay for mothers to lead sexually active lives.

I'll be talking aboutThe Mindy Project in the next installment of my series "Gender Roles &..."

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