Change is inevitable. Change is good. I am only 21 years old, and my mindset has shifted so much throughout my life already. Everything I have experienced: seen, heard, touched, has shaped me in one way or another. About two years ago, I fell in love with the practice of self-reflection. I started keeping a journal, and it spiraled into an incredible journey in which I let go of restricting insecurities, gained awareness, made realizations about myself, and discovered real purpose for my life. Self-reflection is a practice though, you may someday become a master, but the process is never complete. It is a life-long relationship, and in order to reap the benefits, one must maintain it. As noted by Socrates, "The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing" (Socrates Quotes). I invite you to travel back in time with me. You will hear of life-changing experiences, read some of my favorite passages, and explore the tunnels of my ever-developing mind. You will digest the very instances which developed the core values of an ordinary Generation Z woman. All aboard…
Individuals like I, those born after 1996, are classified as Gen Z (often titled as "Zoomers", "iGen", the "Selfie Generation", and "Post-Millennials"). We are the first collective to enter the world after the internet surfaced; the first to be raised in a period which allows simple methods of starting your own business; the most diverse generation to date; the least religiously affiliated group of individuals thus far (McDowell). As human beings, we have an innate inclination to categorize, which naturally produces in-group and out-group members. This desire for classification and distinction encourages us, as a population, to define, judge, and form generalizations about the groups we are not members of. There are existing stereotypes for every category of peoples and Gen Z is no exception.
Because generations are based on birth year, members of each class don't receive an invitation nor do they have to request access, they are classified before they take their first breath. As I grew closer to adulthood, I started noticing far more occasions of feeling separated and defined by my Gen Z membership. When I am engaged in political conversations with others, my perspective and beliefs are often at odds with theirs and not taken seriously. I have been excluded from references relating to hard work and perseverance, told "you will never understand", because I grew up in a technological world and my generation has had everything handed to us on a silver platter. An area I feel an enormous clash with out-group members is my attitude and emotions. I am often criticized by others as too passionate, hyper-sensitive, or overly emotional. Who created the normality scale?
The preceding generations seem to have a difficult time developing a definition of Gen Zer's without listing every way the internet and social media applications have influenced us. I completely understand the struggle. Every aspect in life has been altered in some way or another as a result of mobile phones and unlimited access to the digital world of information. While virtual medias are affecting all people today, those of us born after 1996 cannot reminisce on the days before we had internet, being present in the online world has always been our "normal". In order to relate with the out-group perspective, I wrote down the ways in which I believe my generation is distinguished: technologically savvy, self-obsessed, progressive, and opinionated were the first ideas that came to mind. I came to these assumptions based on the stereotypes portrayed on television and social media. For example, in the Netflix series, Emily in Paris, a young girl is depicted, full of ambition, who lives her life through social media, takes hundreds of selfies, and isn't afraid to speak her mind.
The next step I took to understand the way my generation is seen by others was by doing what any other Gen Zer would do, I googled it. I discovered a webpage containing Millennials thoughts on Gen Z. The responses varied widely, but to no surprise, the majority included some comment on phone addiction or selfies (Dazed). However, another reoccurring observation was that we have been more concerned about the environment and social justice from a much younger age than other generations. This quickly transformed into judgments of our unconventional nature, anti-capitalistic opinions, radical viewpoints, and naïve ideologies on social and economic issues. For the most part, I was pleased when reading the perceptions and opinions they offered. There was still one source I knew I needed to hear from before continuing – my parents and grandparents.
I reached out to a few family members asking them to explain the ways in which they perceive Gen Z. Here is a response I received, "I find Gen Zer's relatively lazy as a collective group lacking in gumption. There seems to be an overall 'me' focus, which is ironic because I grew up in the 'me' generation. I also find there is a complete lack of understanding a vast amount of common-sense activities. But on the upside, you Gen Zer's have what I think is a much better sense of self". Another said, "I like the individuality this generation seems to have. It's nice to see a group of young people worried about our world and encouraging other people to be". After collecting information, from multiple sources, on the ways Gen Zer's are perceived by the out-group, I am eager to share the influence my association with this group has had on my perception of self and the world.
Being a recognizable member of Gen Z means listening to others comment on the time people my age spend on our phones as well as having my ideas shot down because I am seen as naïve, too radical, or overly ambitious. This is a small price to pay considering the impact my association with this group has had on my identity and understanding of the world. My generation is undeniably obsessed with screen time, and it does have major effects on our emotional, mental, and physical capabilities. However, something quite incredible also results from gluing our eyes to these mobile books of life: we are a generation overflowing with social awareness, empathy, and creativity. Having access to the unlimited resources the internet provides has allowed us to gain insight on issues all around the globe. We are rapidly learning about the world, our country, its systems and policies, social injustice and more. How else might we be defined by characteristics such as progressivism or ambitiousness but through our acquisition of knowledge? My place in this community has formed a forcefield of self-love around me and a heart of compassion so full it has room for an entire populace. Because of my fellow Gen Zer's, I believe in change; I believe in good. It is not I who is hyper-sensitive, it is others who do not believe in the possibility of change who limit the power of sensitivity.
As a child, I did not understand (or know of) the concept of generation, but my core values were still developing through life experiences and interpersonal relationships. That which had the most profound effect on my moral make-up, and probably that of most Gen Zer's, was being exposed to extensive means of diversity. Whether it be in the style of age, gender, sexuality, race, ethnicity, religion, or political opinion, I gained an appreciation for the manifold of perspectives and personalities surrounding me. It all started when I was just a bean, going about life with my mom, dad, and older sister, Abby.
One of the first and most direct forms of diversity I encountered dealt with sexual identity. Until the age of two, just like any other child, I was processing ideas of marriage and love by observing my parents. By the time I reached four, my parents had divorced, and I was living full-time with my mom and her boyfriend, Nick, the man I would someday know as my stepdad. Abby and I would get picked up from our mom's one day each week by our dad and Jeffree. At the time, I didn't realize Jeffree was my dad's boyfriend. Or maybe I did; maybe my young mind simply made a mental note as it had in understanding my parent's relationship just years before. As stated by John Berger, in a book that shifted my understanding of the world, "Seeing comes before words. The child looks and recognizes before it can speak" (Berger 7). I recall a story my dad shared with me a few years ago: When I was young, he and I were out shopping as I asked, "Why don't you have a wife?" He thought for a moment, then responded, "What if I have a husband someday?" You can imagine his amusement when I answered in a giggle, "a boy can't marry a boy", which he followed with a question that still expands my mind every single day… "Why not?"
One conversation, one powerful question, allowed a child to reshape her generalizations of marriage and love, the same generalizations a great deal of the population still carries today. I am reminded of this experience through the song lyrics of Mt. Joy, "And, all you see and all you feel are skin and bones. They don't hold the show like real love. No, you can't control who you really are or what you really want" (Mt. Joy). Mt. Joy is an indie folk band whose songs depict internal battles we face considering tragedy, society, and love. Their music is the closest I can come to explaining the core values that have blossomed throughout my journey. Their song "Sheep" takes a strong stance on the political climate of the United States and resonates deeply within me. The song is a time machine: I hear the lyrics and I am lifted, sent soaring back, years upon years, to memories of fierce opposing political opinions. Should I choose red or blue?
In coming upon my teenage years, a rivalry emerged in my mind. What should I want to identify as: republican or democrat? Red or blue? As if I were disarming a bomb and had to make a choice. I was raised in a small conservative town with my mom and Nick, and it seemed as if a great deal of viewpoints, including those of my parents, nestled within the constraints of the republican party. My maternal relatives consist largely of veterans; of hardworking individuals who want tax decreases and a free market; of patriotic Americans who detest the liberal frame of mind. And as I'm sure you've deduced; my paternal relatives are the antithesis. They are comprised of openhanded college graduates, educators, debaters, and active community members. Growing up, I heard a multitude of political discussions regarding topics such as healthcare or human rights with occasional jabs to the conservative approach. How could the two factions that make up my family unit have such conflicting perspectives? Whose side am I on? Then finally, it clicked! I formed an indifferent outlook on political parties, straying away from the labels, and instead, I categorized myself as an advocate for equality and allowed my stance to figure around each individual situation rather than an unshakeable doctrine.
Situating myself outside the two major domains in United States politics revealed an important slice of who I am and what I stand for. I discovered value in flexibility and began to embrace the power of a mind that is willing to change. Octavia E. Butler's, Parable of the sower, enables me to review the experiences and thoughts which occurred from clashing political opinions in my family. Here's a verse an advocate for equality would like to dish out, "All struggles are essentially power struggles. Who will rule, who will lead, who will define, refine, confine, design, who will dominate. All struggles are essentially power struggles, and most are no more intellectual than two rams knocking their heads together" (Butler 94). This verse gives voice to the thoughts which manifest my understanding of politics, but it holds comparable relevance in countless aspects of human interaction.
Can you recall an instance when you witnessed someone using their power to make another feel inadequate? My older sister Abigail was born with a plethora of health problems and the most authentic and endearing soul. We have quite opposite personalities: I have always been confident, a social butterfly, and audacious in the manner of sharing my opinion. Abby manages a high level of anxiety. She can be extremely critical of herself and distant to others. Regardless, the people lucky enough to share a relationship with her quickly recognize the beauty of her originality. Abby was a year ahead of me in high school, the headquarters for judgement and insecurity, but she often struggled in academic and social situations. To a captious high school girl lacking self-assurance, my sister was an easy target. There were a handful of occasions where I stood to my sister's defense against an insecure girl in search of power. She was using her power for self-proclamation; I was using mine for justification. To cite Butler once again, "The only way to prove to yourself that you have power is to use it" (Butler 143).
Using power to belittle another human-being extends much further than high school bullies. The concepts of racism, sexism, ageism, homophobia, and more are built on the foundation of proving one's power to oneself. As a woman, and a sister to three remarkable women, I have experienced a repulsive number of diminishing accounts intended to objectify the female body. In the most harmless situations, I am seen but not heard by the opposite sex. In more drastic cases, my body is verbally mutilated or subject to unsolicited touch. Berger best exemplifies the mistreatment of women through comparison of the male and female presence, "A man's presence is dependent upon the promise of power which he embodies… To be born a woman has been to be born, within an allotted and confined space, into the keeping of men. The social presence of women has developed as a result of their ingenuity in living under such tutelage as a result of their space" (Berger 45-46).
Of course, like most forms of discrimination, sexism is deeply rooted into our culture. It gets brushed off, ignored, excused, yet we talk about it in school, see it on television or advertisements, and sing along to songs that either contribute or dispute its notions. I think back to driving in my mom's Lincoln Navigator with my sisters. The music is on, windows are down, and Shania Twain is singing the lyrics, "She's not just a pretty face, she's got everything it takes" (Twain). Nowadays, artists aren't being so nonchalant in their word choice. Beach Bunny's lyrics, "guess it's my fault my body's fun to stare at. Sorry my clothes can't keep your hands from grabbing. Yeah, it's my problem, I'm asking for it. Guess you're the victim and I'll ignore it" (Beach Bunny), demonstrate my frustration with the moral integrity of our culture. Unfortunately, social media has substantially fueled this fire, and my fellow Gen Zer's are directly affected.
What caused us Gen Zer's to be self-obsessed phone addicts? Could it be the way products are advertised and glorified? I used to be active on Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat and various other media platforms. I can attest, everything about our phones and the simulacrum of identities we create online is addictive. Here's what I see, and please excuse my anti-capitalistic Gen Z perspective: We are a collective of aware, phone addicted, selfie taking activists who were tempted, at a vulnerable age by big businesses, into entering an online world which profits off our dependency. It offered people a chance to create their own identity and escape the criticisms centered around physical appearance through outlets such as filtering your photos and blocking people you feel threatened by. However, in actuality, it catalyzed a generation full of insecure, sensitive, and depressed young adults deemed lazy by the rest of the population. I spent years internally insulting myself and posting photos to meet the expectations of others until the day finally came; when I was too sad to get back on my accounts; when I felt worthless; when I realized the toxicity of my phone; when I chose to deactivate all of my accounts, when I made a change. Let us refer back to Mt. Joy for supporting my realizations, "She said a change is gonna come, but it's all on us. 'Cause it's ruthless and don't tell me you're ruthless too" (Mt. Joy).
As a Gen Z woman, I may seem ambitious, progressive, and overly sensitive, but I do not fear change and there is hope for positive moral development in our culture. The earliest human civilizations laid the foundation for ethics and considered language as the most powerful tool (Vélez Ortiz). Nonetheless, we must choose the way we use our communicative device. I can see that we already understand this idea, for we spill our phrases which utter the same message: "communication is key", "don't run your mouth", and "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" to name just a few. I am not preaching for butterflies, flowers, and world peace. Our need to categorize is a form of organization, one the ancient Egyptians discovered quickly, and it provides social order. However, our desire for power must be defused and transformed into a virtue of humility if we want to continue growing and thriving. If we are going to pick apart and make generalizations of every group we aren't associated with, then we must utilize our awareness to encourage others personal growth. Here is my personal mission: I am aware of the Gen Z stereotypes and understand cellphones as the stimulator of our bleaker attributes, but I will not sit and mull over that which I have no control in changing – social media is not going anywhere. Instead, I will take a humble approach to encourage my fellow Gen Zer's to disconnect from their mobile best friends, I will share my insights through conversation, I will show kindness to strangers regardless of our physical, mental, or emotional differences, and I will practice patience. Why? I have two responses to that question. First, "kindness eases change" (Butler 167), and change is good. Second, why not?Beach Bunny.
Sources:
"Blame Game." Spotify. https://open.spotify.com/album/5R5BvDeXiNyqhrimsTsRXN.
Berger, John. Ways of Seeing: Based on the BBC Television Series with John S. Berger. British Broadcasting Corp. and Penguin Books, 1972.
Butler, Octavia E., and N. K. Jemisin. Parable of the Sower. Grand Central Publishing, 2019.
Dazed. "Millennials Tell Us What They Think of Gen Z." Dazed, 25 June 2020, https://www.dazeddigital.com/life-culture/article/49584/1/millennials-on-what-they-think-of-gen-z-harry-potter-avocado-culture.
McDowell, Sean. "9 Important Insights about Generation Z." Josh.org, 15 Sept. 2020, https://www.josh.org/9-important-insights-generation-z/?mwm_id=304943788053&mot=J79GNF&gclid=Cj0KCQiA7NKBBhDBARIsAHbXCB68EoNbuwAh5qjtnSGjrRzqiepb2BVSSyFVgfuDMR0YoSD22j8HAokaAibjEALw_wcB.
Mt. Joy. "Dirty Love." Spotify. https://open.spotify.com/album/5qZE2kZRIkwXSf5EKsNqRt.
Mt. Joy. "Sheep." Spotify. https://open.spotify.com/album/5a09nRt0ZS75T2PpjP1W0c.
Socrates Quotes. https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/socrates_101212.
Twain, Shania. "She's Not Just A Pretty Face." Spotify. https://open.spotify.com/album/2v6IClucut1qYXQsCZ9aVx.
Vélez Ortiz, Melba. YouTube, YouTube, 4 Feb. 2021, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vHxoNNOpOwo.
