"I'm worried they are mad at me"
To suffer with anxiety has been one of the hardest things I've ever had to go through.
"What if I can't graduate in four years?"
Even when I am physically present in the room; mentally I am worrying about something else.
"What if I fail this test?"
A 100 things could go right for me but I'm thinking about the 101 things that could go wrong.
Suffering with anxiety is the hardest thing to overcome. I have always had anxiety and it's an uphill battle everyday. I am not alone and neither are you. I am an over-thinker. I am a worrier. I am hyperaware of every situation going around me. I think about every possible outcome. I focus on the best possible outcome but I have the worst possible outcome whispering in my ear. These are things I wish people who didn't suffer from anxiety knew.
When I say "I'm worried" people don't say "don't worry!" If it was that easy, I wouldn't be in this situation to start with! I know you are trying to help and to make me feel better but it just makes me feel worse. Now I'm worried about trying not to be worried!
When I repeatedly talking about the same thing it's not because "I'm obsessing over it." The things that cause me to feel anxious are literally all I can think about right now! Let me have my moment. I need to think this through. And chances are, I'm now worried that you are annoyed/mad/irritated at me.
Let me talk it out with you. One of the easiest ways for me to get over my anxious thoughts is to talk it out with someone. I don't need you to have the answers, I just need someone to listen to me. I need to go over outcome A and outcome B. Sometimes I need to make a pro and a con list. I might even have to cry a little. Having someone else in my presence when I'm going through a moment of anxiety is easily one of the greatest gifts I can receive.
Like all people, I have my good days and my bad days. There are days that I can be care-free and I think that I got over my little anxiety thing but then I remember that it's something that I will live with for the rest of my life. Instead of dwelling on something that I can't change about myself; I've learned to cope with it. I've learned to let myself have these moments of anxiety instead of beating myself up for feeling this way. I've learned to bounce back and I've learned to take on this scary but incredible world. I have accepted that it's part of who I am but it does not define who I am.
I have anxiety but I am not anxiety.
I am me.
