Happy New Year! It is officially 1642. Wait, no, my iPhone says 2016. Weird. There is a black guy as president?! AND WOMEN CAN HAVE ABORTIONS?! What has this world come to?
Just kidding. It's 2016, yet being gay is still considered some huge controversy. There are ridiculous excuses to keep the LGBT* community from their basic rights that the Right Wing comes up with. What about all these insane stereotypes in an attempt to label just about everyone?
Ah, yes, the stereotypes, the horrible ideals that ignorant humans assume about lives they clearly do not understand. It's okay. We will break it down for all y'all - with the help of the cast of Parks and Recreation.
1. Assuming you like the same sex, because you haven't found the "right one" of the opposite sex
You are right. Maybe I need to find a guy with bigger boobs.
2. "You two are moving so fast! Did you bring a U-Haul to the first date?"
For straight people, it's called "love at first sight." For the gays, it's "U-Hauling." Because, ya know, that's fine.
3. "Don't all lesbians wear khakis?"
As attractive as girls in flannels, khakis and Vans are - no, they do not all wear them.
4. The assumption that every gay male has great style
They just know how to
Need I say more?
5. "Gays cannot be allowed to get married, it will ruin the sanction of marriage!"
Forget all the divorces and affairs. They don't count.
6. Bisexuals are just "confused"
You are NOT allowed to like two genders. God forbid. Gross. Damn. Nope. You also cannot like two flavors. So pick one: chocolate or vanilla?
7. "What do you label yourself as? You have to be SOMETHING!"
Pansexual? What's that? Are you attracted to pots and pans?
8. Gay couples can't adopt. Children need a mother AND a father
Dang, sorry single moms and dads, you have to give up your children. You are no longer fit to raise that kid.
9. "Wait...so how do lesbians...ya know...?"
Rock, paper, scissors.
10. "Don't all gay guys like theater?"
Don't all Americans love pie shoved in their face?
Whether you "agree" with homosexuality, or not, there is no place in this world for more hate.
And in all fairness though,
So what did we learn today?
There is only one more thing left to do. I would like to dedicate this article to the only sweetheart who got me through it.