If you have never heard of Gasparilla before, first of all, let me just tell you how sorry I am. Basically, its like Mardi Gras in Tampa, with pirates. The day includes a lot of walking, eating, drinking and, of course, a sh*t ton of beads. Here are some tips and tricks I have learned over the years that make for a perfect paaaaarrrrrrrty.
Don't worry, that was the only poor pirate pun I used.
1. You must get a corndog. Trust me.
Exhibit A.
2. The lemonade is amazing, especially if you splash some vodka in it.
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3. It’s a marathon, not a sprint. Take some time to rest your feet on whatever you can find.
No moose were harmed in the making of this photo.
4. WEAR SUNGLASSES, trust me. They cover up the drunk eyes you’ll have before the parade even starts.
Ok, so you can still tell I'm drunk here. But, look at the parade views!!!!!
5. Every year the weather forecast says it’ll be cold. It’s cold for two hours in the morning and then it’s perfect weather all day. Wear that crop top, girl.
Not cold whatsoever.
6. You should probably wear the shoes you usually wear for game days. You know, the ones that have dirt and vodka and orange crush caked into them? Yeah, those are perfect for gaspy.
You can always edit out the dirt in Facetune later.
7. Don’t be the girl that bitches about walking. Prepare to walk at least four miles today.
Conversations on Gasparilla be like:
8. Eat. I don’t care if that black corset squeezes tighter after every french fry, everyone looks bloated by noon anyways. You will need to eat to survive the copious amounts of alcohol you will be putting into your body.
I will say it again: GET A CORNDOG.
9. Be nice. By the end of the day, people are cranky, drunk and tired and are just looking for someone to argue with them. Do not argue back if someone tries to heckle you on the street. Trust me, you don’t want to be breaking up a fist fight and collecting hoops off the street (TBT to gaspy 2016)!
Hours prior to being jumped on the street.
10. Take your photos early in the day. I know you’re gonna want some at the parade, but I promise you they will not turn out how you think they will. Get some before you even start drinking, just in case.
You don't want to see what we looked like at the end of the day.
11. Have fun!!! Eat, drink, catch as many beads as you can, make new friends, and enjoy the spirit of Jose Gaspar!
Can't wait for January 26!!!