As a kid I was bullied a lot. As a result I started to not like the way that I looked. Like most young girls I thought I was too fat, too ugly, and not very worthy of anything.
When I got to high school this continued for awhile. I started to be nicer to the women around me because I knew how they felt. I would constantly shower women with compliments--strangers and best friends alike--because I knew it would brighten their day. When I was complimented I would just brush it off thinking I was only given one in return.
Eventually, I got tired of my self-loathing. I made the conscious decision to be nicer to myself. After years of looking in the mirror and pointing out my flaws and focusing on the people that did not like me, I started pointing out the good parts of me and focusing on how I felt about myself. It was not a quick switch. I still had days where I wanted to hide from the world--and especially myself. I felt like I was lying to myself but I continued to stand in front of the mirror and point out my good qualities.
After awhile, I began to believe myself and the compliments from other people. I stopped trying to better myself for Them and started bettering myself for me. I worked out and ate clean because it made me feel more awake. I started reading again in pursuit of knowledge instead of pretending that all I did was mess around on my phone. I rediscovered the things that brought me joy as a child and discovered even more ways to improve my life. While I still struggle with confidence I am no longer confined to what others think of how I look or what I do. I do what I enjoy and I am happy with how I look. My anxiety is lessened and I feel lighter.
If you struggle with confidence issues my advice to you is to start small, by being nicer to yourself.
Tell yourself you have pretty eyes, that you are an amazing writer, and eventually you will believe yourself.
