A friend recently introduced me to Jenny Lawson’s second book "Furiously Happy". As she follows her own struggles with mental health, Lawson takes the reader through her hilarious daily conversations with her husband, friends and therapists. I’m talking laugh-out-loud funny. I mean just look at the cover: how could you notsmile when picking up a book that looks like that? Not only do you get a good laugh, but you get to see the inner workings of a mentally ill mind (and the story behind that ridiculous raccoon).
I’m no stranger to the difficulties of living with mental health issues. Sometimes we feel like no one else in the entire world could understand what we’re going through. Lawson assures us that there is a large hidden group of people who all feel the same way, and talking openly about our own struggles is sometimes the only way to get others out from their safe shelters.
Here are some of my favorite quotes from "Furiously Happy":
On Having a Mental Health Issue:
“I wish someone had told me this simple but confusing truth: Even when everything’s going your way you can still be sad. Or anxious. Or uncomfortably numb. Because you can’t always control your brain or your emotions even when things are perfect” (239).
“Life passes. Then comes the depression. That feeling that you’ll never be right again. The fear that these outbreaks will become more familiar, or worse, never go away. You’re so tired from fighting that you start to listen to all the little lies your brain tells you. The ones that say you’re a drain on your family. The ones that say that if you were stronger or better this wouldn’t be happening to you” (317-18).
“I used to fell a lot of guilt about having depression but then I realized that’s a lot like feeling guilty for having brown hair” (318).
I'm tired of the stigma behind mental health. You don't need to have a rough childhood or go through a traumatic event to experience psychological problems. The truth is that just like cancer, mental health issues don't discriminate. I guarantee one of the "happiest" people you know is dealing with some sort of disorder right now. Just because you can't see it doesn't mean it's not real.
On Taking Medication:
“Lots of concerned friends and family felt that … drugs were not the answer; if they were I would have been fixed. Clearly I wasn’t as sick as I said I was if the medication didn’t work for me. And that sort of makes sense, because when you have a cancer the doctor gives you the best medicine and if it doesn’t shrink the tumor immediately then that’s a pretty clear sign you were just faking it for attention” (57).
“Whenever I start to doubt if I’m worth the eternal trouble of medication and therapy, I remember those people who let the fog win. And I push myself to stay healthy. I remind myself that I’m not fighting against me … I’m fighting against a chemical imbalance” (58).
“I’m just broken. But in a way that makes me … me. My drugs don’t define me. I’m not psychotic. I’m not dangerous. The drugs I take are just a pinch of salt. A little seasoning in life, if you will” (59).
“Lots of people think that they’re a failure if their first or eighth cure for depression or anxiety doesn’t work the way they wanted. But an illness is an illness. It’s not your fault if the medication or therapy you’re given to treat your mental illness doesn’t work perfectly, or it worked for a while but then stopped working. You aren’t a math problem. You’re a person” (132).
I love Lawson's view on this. People don't need to feel guilty or embarrassed to take their blood pressure or cancer medicine, so why should we feel any different about psychiatric medications? We are not weak for needing some extra chemical help, and it absolutely DOES NOT mean you're crazy.
On Physical Harm:
Depression is a weird thing and can be very confusing for someone who has never experienced a mental illness. We don't necessarily want to die, but we wouldn't mind if we did; Sometimes the thought of going to bed and not waking up doesn't sound so bad. The best word I can think of to describe the feeling with depression is "numb." And sometimes you are willing to do anything, even if it means hurting yourself, to finally feel something again.
On Getting Better:
"I have seen the bright contrast from dark to light and back again. I am privileged to be able to recognize that the sound of laughter is a blessing and a song, and to realize that the bright hours spent with my family and friends are extraordinary treasures to be saved, because … those moments are a promise that life is worth fighting for, and that promise is what pulls me through when depression distorts reality and tries to convince me otherwise” (82).
“Brighter days are coming. Clearer sight will arrive. And you will arrive too. No, it might not be forever. These bright moments might be for a few days at a time, but hold on for those days. Those days are worth the dark” (323).
“If everything is perfect and I’m miserable, then is this as good as it gets? The answer is no. it gets better. You get better” (240).
I've always said that having a mental health issue has shaped me into the person I am today, and I would not go back and change that for anything. I have learned to be humble and appreciate the little things in life. I can't tell you how many years or medication changes it will take, but I promise you this: things WILL get better.
Jenny Lawsons' memoirs on mental health say exactly what every sufferer is thinking. She gives us raw emotion, both the good and bad, to show the truth behind the stigma. I think it is so amazing that she is able to find humor in such a debilitating circumstance, and I wish that more survivors could do the same.
I seriously recommend this book (as well as her first, "Let's Pretend This Never Happened") to those both with and without mental health disorders. For those who can relate to her experiences, it's a nice reassurance that you're not alone. Plus, you get a good laugh when you get to think, "wow, I thought I was fucked up." For those who cannot personally relate, you get a crash course in Mental Health Empathy 101 and will be able to better help a friend in need.
In one of my favorite stories, Lawson asks her husband if his life would be easier without her. He replied, “It might be easier. But it wouldn’t be better” (318).
And that is exactly how I feel about living with a mental health disorder. It is a part of who I am. Could my life be easier without anxiety and depression? Absolutely, but it wouldn't be better.
