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21 of the Funniest Quotes I have Ever heard from Children

If you've ever worked with children, you know.

Alexa Rosenzweig

Jul 23, 2018

University of Wisconsin Branch Schools

21 of the Funniest Quotes I have Ever heard from Children

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Children. They're annoying. They're exhausting. They're draining. But, if you have as much experience with children as I do, you know that they are freaking funny. As a future elementary school teacher, I will have to deal with the frustration, the annoyance, and of course, the funniest moments. Although I'm looking forward to these moments, I do have some great ones already up my sleeve from past experiences with children. I thought I would share them for the world to see!

1. "Did you know that I was born on my birthday?"

2. "I wanna get as high as my friends"

3. Adult: Don't run away! What happens if you run away and get lost?" Kid: "You'll end up in somebody's belly"

4. "I was sucking on it too good"

5. "The worst day of my life was when I went to a boy's house and there weren't any girls there"

6. "Let's play a game called Mommy Disease"

7. "You made me vote for Hillary!"

8. "It smells like Hillary"

"I don't see no naked boy"

10. Me: "Can you guess what our special snack is?" Kid: "A basketball player?"

11. "I'm engaged to my legs"

12. "Cheese puffs are too good for me to die"

13. Me: "The bus will be here in 45 minutes!" Kid: "That's how long my dad is!"

14. "I'm drunk"

15. "I look like an old drunk man"

16. "Your mom is an otter"

17. "Your face is harder than my pita bread"

18. "I think chubby is good"

19. "Those are all MY balls"

20. "Name it gas, like the kind that comes out of your butt"

21. "WET. BALLS."

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21 of the Funniest Quotes I have Ever heard from Children

If you've ever worked with children, you know.

In This Article:

1. "Did you know that I was born on my birthday?"

2. "I wanna get as high as my friends"

3. Adult: Don't run away! What happens if you run away and get lost?" Kid: "You'll end up in somebody's belly"

4. "I was sucking on it too good"

5. "The worst day of my life was when I went to a boy's house and there weren't any girls there"

6. "Let's play a game called Mommy Disease"

7. "You made me vote for Hillary!"

8. "It smells like Hillary"

"I don't see no naked boy"

10. Me: "Can you guess what our special snack is?" Kid: "A basketball player?"

11. "I'm engaged to my legs"

12. "Cheese puffs are too good for me to die"

13. Me: "The bus will be here in 45 minutes!" Kid: "That's how long my dad is!"

14. "I'm drunk"

15. "I look like an old drunk man"

16. "Your mom is an otter"

17. "Your face is harder than my pita bread"

18. "I think chubby is good"

19. "Those are all MY balls"

20. "Name it gas, like the kind that comes out of your butt"

21. "WET. BALLS."

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Because have you ever had to endure grilling your foot on a George Foreman?

1. When he just wanted bacon from his George Foreman grill

2. When he had money (and Jan) issues

3. When he got upstaged at Phyllis' wedding

4. When he unintentionally saved Meredith from rabies

5. When he wore a "bisexual" suit

6. When he had to apologize to Jesus

7. When his GPS drove him into a lake

8. When he had to deal with Ryan as his boss

9. When he couldn't fulfill his most generous empty promise

10. When this happened

11. When he struggled with a X-Mas break up

12. When he had to defend his generosity

13. When he threw a classy Christmas party for Holly but she had a boyfriend

14. When he had to stand up to peer pressure

15. When Toby was "Toby-ish"

This isn't just for the single Pringles out there either, folks

Run Around Clanging Pots and Pans in Everyone's Face

Eat the Last Few Pigs in a Blanket

Pop Twelve White Grapes

Burn Something

Smash Things Against a Wall

Spontaneously Begin an Irish Jig

Call Your Mother

Throw a Coffee Table Out a Window

Sing "Auld Lang Syne" at the Top of Your Lungs

Do Some Squats

Swan Dive into a Nearly Freezing Body of Water

Take a Shot

Time to be merry and bright.

"First Noel" by Leslie Odom, Jr

"A Holly Jolly Christmas" by Burl Ives

"Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" by Kelly Clarkson

"All I Want for Christmas Is You" by Mariah Carey

"Christmas (Baby Please Come Home" by Michael Buble

"Last Christmas" by Taylor Swift

"The Christmas Song" by Josh Groban

"White Christmas" by Idina Menzel

"O Holy Night" by David Archuleta

"Believe" by Josh Groban

"Les cloches du hameau" by Celine Dion

Or at least try to do.

1. I will wake up (sorta) on time for class.

2. I will look decent for class.

3. I will go to the gym more.

4. I will go to the library and study more.

5. I will meet new people.

For those long nights that turn into mornings when the struggle is real.

1. Walk in motivated and ready to rock

2. Disappointed you let it get this bad

3. Distracted: When a 10-Minute Break Becomes an Hour

4. When the Yearning for Sleep Sneaks Up

5. In the words of Lorelai Gilmore "Coffee, Coffee, Coffee"

Oh, so done.

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