A couple of hours ago, I arrived back at my house from running some errands with a friend. She had to shop for a few things at a few places and she asked if I could come along. I didn't have any plans for the day, and the person who asked was one of my best friends so of course, I decided to go. It was during this time that I realized something: there is something much deeper going on during our mundane tasks. I have always found comfort and entertainment from small, quiet times than large, loud ones. Example: I would rather spend a day watching a movie or even just talking with a few friends than attend a loud party filled with people. I don't know what it is about me, but large parties don't interest me much. I find more pleasure in simplicity.
I find it funny and tragic that I discovered this in therapy while dealing with my anxiety disorder. Funny, because if you don't laugh at the absurd, or the tragic, then you will ultimately be crushed. Tragic, because sometimes I hate the fact that dealing with the anxiety and panic is what causes me not to seek out loud, crowded house parties. Regardless, I seem to find more beauty in mundane tasks than at a rave. Today all I did was tag along with a friend while they shopped, and for me, it was a great time. There was genuine interaction, active listening, and complete presentness. Not saying that those things can't exist at some large event or gathering, but I am saying that they usually won't.
Another night I spent time with a friend trying to watch a movie. The streaming service we were trying to use wasn't working, and it was getting late so we didn't want to leave the house. So instead, we talked for a while. We talked about many different things, like philosophy, theology, our lives, our friends, and may other things. Of course, it wasn't all just deep conversation, we cracked jokes here and there and talked about silly things as well. But it was through these talks where I learned about myself and learned about my friend. That's another thing I love about small groups; genuine human interaction. There is time to learn about and love your friend. There is time to learn about yourself and why you do the things you do. There is time to think and to grow, and to me, that is fun enough.
If mundane events and areas aren't your forte, that is completely understandable. Sometimes I think I'm a boring person because of my interests. But I want to get across the fact that I'm not saying a large, loud get together can't be fun. In fact, I'm sure it will be loads of fun. What I'm saying is that I find more enjoyment in smaller groups and quieter places. I find there to be more fun in walking in a park with a friend than chugging beers while music blares with some friends and some strangers.
We all think differently and the world is full of many different people with different beliefs on what enjoyment or fun really is. For some it could be quick shopping with a couple of friends, for others, it could be dancing in a packed club on the weekend. Whatever the case, we all have what we like to do, and I plan on doing what I like to do regardless of others' doubt.
