The smell of the last four years –
ocean-kissed skin in a landlocked-hell
– wraps itself thick in my psyche.
I go back to the beginning,
and there is sunscreen, chlorine,
and hope hanging at the corners of a smile
that don’t quite reach his eyes.
It’s the first red flag I dig up with careful fingers,
but still split my palms on the stake
despite best intentions
and hope he can wash out the scarlet.
I lay each memory on the table,
thin, brittle, malnourished creatures
he whispers I love you to
as he runs the scalpel down the spines,
I will never hurt you when the blade tip
flicks open ribs like angel wings,
I will always be there for you and the kaleidoscope shifts
– you’re alone with the florescent buzz,
your heart beating crimson in your hands.
Every lie -
an exercise in being held down
in the dark of the bathtub
and being told it was safe
to breathe.
In hindsight,
I never stopped feeling
the gas crawling its way
into my lungs –
I just decided
drowning
was better
than being
alone.
sunrise
StableDiffusion
bonfire friends
StableDiffusion
sadness
StableDiffusion
purple skies
StableDiffusion
true love
StableDiffusion
My Cheerleader
StableDiffusion
womans transformation to happiness and love
StableDiffusion
future life together of adventures
StableDiffusion
