Dear Life,
Take back your stupid lemons, I don't want them anymore.
I suppose you thought it would be absolutely hysterical if I were to become sick the week of finals, especially since I haven't been ill the entire semester. I thought I would get out of it illness-free. You thought differently. I'm sure you thought very carefully as to when you would sneak that little snot-filled surprise on me. Not only was it finals week, I had two very important recordings to do on my trumpet, one for a solo and one with a group. It's frustrating enough when my own important things are put on hold by your whimsical little shenanigans, but when you jeopardize the important things of my friends and peers, we've got a problem.
I also have a bone to pick with you about some past experiences. Was it truly necessary for me to pee my pants in the cafeteria in middle school? Middle school. You decided to test the observation skills of everyone not in my circle of friends, and I will be forever grateful that everyone else failed that test. I suppose a different way to look at your little experiment would be to think how wonderful it was to have friends that made me laugh that much, but I know that's just a trick to try and get out of this lecture of mine. Nice try!
While we're still talking about middle school, I'd like to discuss your adorable sense of humor when it comes to my fashion sense. I know that in elementary school no one really cares what people are wearing, but that phase needed to end much sooner than junior year of high school. Life, in case you weren't aware, sneakers are not an every-day shoe. There needs to be some variety. When you had me sporting bootcut jeans and slightly-too-big t-shirts with those sneakers, it was not a good look. I'm willing to forgive you on this one, since you've recently figured out how fashion actually works, and I guess you threw an awkward phase at everyone.
I haven't forgotten that time you decided to meddle with the graduation ceremony from my junior year of high school. I know you thought it would be a cute, embarrassing little incident for me, but the ripples from that extended much further. You thought it would be funny if I misheard directions and played the wrong song during the ceremony, and looking back, it is pretty amusing, but what you probably didn't anticipate was how I would sway the next four people in the trumpet section, causing quite the trainwreck and resulting in our poor director stopping the band and restarting with everyone playing the correct piece. Life, that ceremony was televised.
There are many other grievances I have in regards to your decisions, Life, of varying degrees of importance, but for now I will allow you to think about what you've done and hopefully change your ways.
Begrudgingly and patiently yours,
Sarah
(P.S. I have no qualms with your cereal, it is quite delicious.)
