Growing up, my parents moved my siblings and I from state to state, until we were finally stable enough to settle in one spot. My parents went through a lot of issues together, and because I am the youngest, and the only one who lived at home until I was eighteen, I bore the brunt of it all, which played a major role in my personality development. I wasn't the happy-go-lucky child, nor was I a problem child. Who I was lingered somewhere in the middle.
To be quite honest, I was a coward growing up; I was as submissive as it gets. I was a tiny—although I still am—little girl who did whatever someone told her to because I like to avoid confrontation. I walked down the halls next to my “friends” with my shoulders slumped and my head down. I dressed how people wanted me to, and said what people wanted me to because, to put it simply, I wasn’t my own person. I was a replica of the person others wanted me to be, and it was unhealthy. Because of this, I was picked on a lot. On the bus rides to and from school, I was made fun of and called names. Even during the school hours, when I thought I could escape it all by sitting away from my oppressors, they found ways to make me cower because I never stood up for myself; I never told any of them to stop.
This went on for years. Eventually, I became attune to their words, shrugged it off, and went about my day, yet they still held power over me, knowing I would never do or say anything to make them stop. They were wrong.
As my illness got worse, and I could no longer handle those around me, a flame ignited within, and slowly but surely, the submissive side of me was masked by this person with somewhat of a vengeance. I didn’t seek revenge per say, but I wanted to make sure everyone who once held a power over me knew that they no longer did; I made sure no one would ever make me smaller than everyone else. So, I stood up for myself. I gave people a piece of my mind, and you know what, it worked. No longer was I this coward of a girl, allowing herself to be walked all over, doing as everyone else told me to. I was finally stopped taking people’s disrespect, and threw it back at them.
The flame inside turned into a ball of fire.
Never let someone treat you any less than respectful and walk all over you. Be the bravest you can be, and stand up for yourself.
