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From The Person With PTSD

I am not less of a person.

Danielle M Santore

Jan 24, 2017

Robert Morris University

Voiceherald

Having PTSD doesn’t mean I cannot maintain a relationship. Because I have PTSD does not mean that I cannot be normal. PTSD doesn’t mean I can’t always be focused. Having PTSD doesn’t make me weak. Having PTSD does not mean I just can’t "let it go.”

Having PTSD means I’ve gotten past something that was very traumatic but I am still here. It means I am working to get to the day I don’t get triggered. It means I am fighting through flashbacks to create nicer ones. It means though my memories are broken I still try to make them whole. Having PTSD means I have to work a little harder to be with someone.

I don’t mean to seem rude and hesitant it’s just in my make up. I want to tell you things but some days I just can’t. Some days I can tell you so so much, though the day before I was silent. Please don’t try and force me to talk, I will just shut off. If I am talking please listen and know you mean something. I chose you to hear me because I believe you can be there.

Because I breakdown it doesn’t make me weak. It does not make me a lesser person. I promise the bad days are worth it when you see the good. When I have a bad day I just like to be alone. No one will truly understand the trauma as the person who has suffered it. It doesn’t mean you don’t care, I’m aware of that. Please keep trying.

Do not ask me about my dreams and how I slept I usually do not like to talk about it. Sleeping is the period of my day I lose every bit of control I have and my subconscious haunts me. The ghost I keep out in the day are able to roam free so please do not ask.

If I go to therapy I probably do not want to talk about it. I probably already talked and was pushed enough that day so please let it be. Because I go to therapy does not mean I cannot do things on my own. It means I was smart enough to realize I needed help.

Having PTSD does not make me less of a person, it makes me a stronger one because I powered through.

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From The Person With PTSD

I am not less of a person.

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We don't buy into these... just like how we don't buy our friends.

8. "The whole philanthropy thing isn't real, right?"

7. "I don't need to buy my friends."

6. "Oh, so I'll bet you love to drink."

5. "Can you tell me some of your secrets?"

4. "What do you do at your meetings?"

3. "Do you guys haze really badly?"

2. "Is it just like in the movies?"

1. "Sororities are so basic."

There are plenty of obstacles that come when taking care of kids, but it's a very rewarding experience.

1. You get excited when the parents purchase season passes to the pool.

2. You've become friends with the stay-at-home moms in town.

3. You get a chance to eat "kid foods" again.

4. You've traded in your cute purse for a large tote bag.

5. You have at least one car seat in your backseat.

6. Their nap time is your happy time.

7. Lunch time can be a disaster.

8. You have to play the same board games repeatedly.

9. You catch yourself using the same lines your parents once told you.

10. Your "mom-mode" kicks in at times.

11. Your heart melts a little when they do something cute.

You'll never find any souvenirs with your name on it

1. You know you are up next when the teacher pauses while taking attendance

2. When “I’m going to do my very best to make sure I know all your names” is said, it may or may be an empty promise

3. “Wow! That sounds so cool! Where is your family from?”

4. You dread when people ask you to repeat your name over and over because it “sounds so cool when you say it”

5. There’s a 50/50 chance that your name will come back either correct or incorrect at Starbucks

6. People try to find shorter, easier nicknames for you instead of calling you by your actual name

7. When someone famous or fictional character shares your name, you get so happy

8. “What’s your name?” “It’s [name]” “I’m sorry, what was it again?”

9. You’ve pretty much seen every misspelling and heard every mispronunciation of your name throughout your life

10. When you find another person with an “ethnic” sounding name, you both get excited

11. Despite the struggles, your name is pretty unique… just like you

Can I be excused for the rest of my life?

Don't Be That Person

1. “Oh, so you/your family are immigrants!”

2. “Is Puerto Rico near Mexico?”

3. “Do you speak Puerto Rican?”

4. “You look too light/dark to be Puerto Rican.”

5. “Do I need my passport to go to Puerto Rico?”

6. “Geez, you are obsessed with your flag. We get it, you’re Puerto Rican.”

7. “Why are you so loud?”

8. “So does your family know English?”

9. “Oh my god, Puerto Ricans are so spicy.”

10. “So did you eat a lot of tacos?”

11. “Are you Mexican?”

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