Having PTSD doesn’t mean I cannot maintain a relationship. Because I have PTSD does not mean that I cannot be normal. PTSD doesn’t mean I can’t always be focused. Having PTSD doesn’t make me weak. Having PTSD does not mean I just can’t "let it go.”
Having PTSD means I’ve gotten past something that was very traumatic but I am still here. It means I am working to get to the day I don’t get triggered. It means I am fighting through flashbacks to create nicer ones. It means though my memories are broken I still try to make them whole. Having PTSD means I have to work a little harder to be with someone.
I don’t mean to seem rude and hesitant it’s just in my make up. I want to tell you things but some days I just can’t. Some days I can tell you so so much, though the day before I was silent. Please don’t try and force me to talk, I will just shut off. If I am talking please listen and know you mean something. I chose you to hear me because I believe you can be there.
Because I breakdown it doesn’t make me weak. It does not make me a lesser person. I promise the bad days are worth it when you see the good. When I have a bad day I just like to be alone. No one will truly understand the trauma as the person who has suffered it. It doesn’t mean you don’t care, I’m aware of that. Please keep trying.
Do not ask me about my dreams and how I slept I usually do not like to talk about it. Sleeping is the period of my day I lose every bit of control I have and my subconscious haunts me. The ghost I keep out in the day are able to roam free so please do not ask.
If I go to therapy I probably do not want to talk about it. I probably already talked and was pushed enough that day so please let it be. Because I go to therapy does not mean I cannot do things on my own. It means I was smart enough to realize I needed help.
Having PTSD does not make me less of a person, it makes me a stronger one because I powered through.
