“Don’t give them any help this time.”
I cannot even begin to count the number of times people have said these words to me. Between my friends and family, I’ve been reminded numerous times that it’s alright to look out for yourself and to say no to people from time to time.
Throughout my years in high school, I was never the popular girl, I was never the person anyone wanted to hang out with. I did my best to fit in but somehow I always felt I was not good enough. The only time people would talk to me was when they wanted my help.
I know what you’re thinking. You think that there is no possible way for me to know that that was the only reason they made an effort to be friends with me. It’s simple, when they wanted something, they'd message me throughout the day. However, when I was sitting all by myself in class nobody bothered to sit next to me, and nobody bothered to say a simple “hi” to me.
Getting back to the point.. this article is not about what I was like, or who I wanted to be like. It is about how difficult I found it to stand up for myself. I knew that people were taking advantage of me. Maybe 5 out of the 20 people I helped would say thank you to me after they got what they needed. Still, I would keep trying to help everyone so that people would like me. It was as much my fault as it was anyone else's fault as I liked to keep to myself for the most part. Why would I keep to myself when I wanted to fit in? It was because I was scared of saying something wrong.
We live in a world where people judge you based on what you say and what you do. I’m sure that most people have had a moment in their life in which they have felt like people are judging them. Even if they don’t care about the judgements that people make, it’s about time that people realize that judgements are hurtful and should not be made. The way I see it, it's a vicious cycle, one moment you are laughing at someone and the next someone is laughing at you. To all those people who have ever judged someone: Have you thought about what it would feel like to be in their shoes? I'm sure the thought never even crossed your mind until you were the victim.
The day I stopped worrying about what people thought of me, was the day I became happy. To all of you out there who have struggled to say no like I did, I want you to know that you are not alone. You aren’t the only person struggling to feel accepted. I’ve been there, I’ve done that. Trust me, it’s not worth it. The people you are trying os hard to impress aren’t worth your time. My advice to you is to be yourself. Don’t run around trying to help people who don’t deserve your help. Don’t change yourself for anyone. Last but not least, It’s ok to stand up for yourself and say no every once in awhile.
Side note: If you relate to this article, here are a few songs that made me feel better when I was scared of what people thought of me.
- Mean By Taylor Swift
- Loser Like Me By Glee Cast
- Mean Girls By Rachel Crow
- Hate On Me By Jill Crow
- Shake It Off By Taylor Swift
