I'm the girl that everyone thinks is happy, the girl who is carefree, always smiling. The life of the party. The one who everyone goes to, to be the shoulder to cry on. You would never guess that she cries herself to sleep most nights but she won't ever lead onto that, she wouldn't want you to feel burdened to help her so she'll carry herself as if nothing is wrong.
You all know someone like this, whether you know it or not…
One thing I wish people would understand is, that girl is me, and that is OK because it is OK to not be OK. We are all human and we all have emotions that we shouldn't be afraid to feel.
It's OK to feel like this only for a little bit though, because if we let ourselves fall into this feeling of depression for a period of time, we may not be able to get ourselves out of it. I went through a period of time when I needed a little bit of help learning how to feel emotions again. I went through a period of hatred and anger not towards anyone else, but towards myself.
I went cold…
You know, like the reference of being "stone-cold." I didn't feel like I had a heart, at least when it came to me. I brought a whole new meaning to being your own worst critic. The things I would say and think about myself were absolutely horrible. Occasionally towards others, I'd lash out at people and honestly, sometimes I didn't even care who I was hurting in the process.
THAT IS NOT ME!
… I promise…
I love to see the good in each and every person that crosses my path, and I do truly love myself I know that I am wanted and worthy, but it took me a while to realize this. I'm not just wanted and worthy but we all are. We are all put on this earth for a reason and we would all be missed by someone in our lives.
It's inevitable, we are all going to fall into our lowest low at some point in our lives and that feeling of falling back down into that low will creep up again at some point, and that is ok.
It's OK to acknowledge that feeling and too feel all the "feelz" that come along with it. Just don't let that "depression-like" feeling overstay its welcome, because the sun will come out tomorrow, tomorrow is only a day away. Yes, that is from everyone's favorite red-headed orphan.
