Dear You,
I'm sorry...
I'm sorry for everything I did to you...
I guess trying to be a perfect girlfriend didn't work out in the end. Who would have thought that giving my everything would only result in you giving nothing. I guess I should have gone out with my friends that one Friday night you so desperately wanted me to stay with you and watch a movie. I guess I should have focused on my future and what college I wanted to go to rather than spending my senior year trying to pick a college that would be close to you. If only I knew that all the tears and stress would turn out to be pointless.
I'm sorry for doing everything that I swore I would never do in a relationship...
I'll admit that I turned into a person that I didn't even recognize when I looked in the mirror. I turned into an insecure and smothering girlfriend. I guess that's what happens when one person isn't as devoted and faithful as the other person in a relationship. Because of you, I became everything I never wanted to be.
I'm sorry for finally being honest for once...
I know you're not used to this honesty that I finally had the courage to let surface again. I'm sorry that I couldn't have been this honest earlier. I was too blinded by what my brain wanted and I couldn't see what was right for me, and you for that matter. Without my honesty I would not be the person that I am today, and I'm sorry I couldn't show you that quality in me.
I'm sorry that I'm being selfish...
I know it is hard to believe that I would actually think about myself for once, and I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry that I want to get better and therefore taking control over my life again. I'm sorry for taking away the one quality that you just loved so much, my selflessness.
I'm sorry for being so selfless...
My selflessness is what got me into this sticky situation to begin with. If I had been more selfish from the start maybe I wouldn't be going through this hard time and maybe, just maybe, I wouldn't have turned into the "awful" person that I am today.
So I'm sorry for all of the late night talks. I'm sorry for all of the forced lunch dates, and I'm so sorry for all of the times that I tried to move forward and be happy with you.
I'm so sorry...
With love,
The Girl You No Longer Have Control Over