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Dear You

I'm sorry for everything, but it's just something I had to do

Ashleigh Brooke Daly

Apr 07, 2017

Method, Raleigh

The Huffington Post

Dear You,

I'm sorry...

I'm sorry for everything I did to you...

I guess trying to be a perfect girlfriend didn't work out in the end. Who would have thought that giving my everything would only result in you giving nothing. I guess I should have gone out with my friends that one Friday night you so desperately wanted me to stay with you and watch a movie. I guess I should have focused on my future and what college I wanted to go to rather than spending my senior year trying to pick a college that would be close to you. If only I knew that all the tears and stress would turn out to be pointless.

I'm sorry for doing everything that I swore I would never do in a relationship...

I'll admit that I turned into a person that I didn't even recognize when I looked in the mirror. I turned into an insecure and smothering girlfriend. I guess that's what happens when one person isn't as devoted and faithful as the other person in a relationship. Because of you, I became everything I never wanted to be.

I'm sorry for finally being honest for once...

I know you're not used to this honesty that I finally had the courage to let surface again. I'm sorry that I couldn't have been this honest earlier. I was too blinded by what my brain wanted and I couldn't see what was right for me, and you for that matter. Without my honesty I would not be the person that I am today, and I'm sorry I couldn't show you that quality in me.

I'm sorry that I'm being selfish...

I know it is hard to believe that I would actually think about myself for once, and I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry that I want to get better and therefore taking control over my life again. I'm sorry for taking away the one quality that you just loved so much, my selflessness.

I'm sorry for being so selfless...

My selflessness is what got me into this sticky situation to begin with. If I had been more selfish from the start maybe I wouldn't be going through this hard time and maybe, just maybe, I wouldn't have turned into the "awful" person that I am today.

So I'm sorry for all of the late night talks. I'm sorry for all of the forced lunch dates, and I'm so sorry for all of the times that I tried to move forward and be happy with you.

I'm so sorry...

With love,

The Girl You No Longer Have Control Over

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Dear You,

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Because have you ever had to endure grilling your foot on a George Foreman?

1. When he just wanted bacon from his George Foreman grill

2. When he had money (and Jan) issues

3. When he got upstaged at Phyllis' wedding

4. When he unintentionally saved Meredith from rabies

5. When he wore a "bisexual" suit

6. When he had to apologize to Jesus

7. When his GPS drove him into a lake

8. When he had to deal with Ryan as his boss

9. When he couldn't fulfill his most generous empty promise

10. When this happened

11. When he struggled with a X-Mas break up

12. When he had to defend his generosity

13. When he threw a classy Christmas party for Holly but she had a boyfriend

14. When he had to stand up to peer pressure

15. When Toby was "Toby-ish"

This isn't just for the single Pringles out there either, folks

Run Around Clanging Pots and Pans in Everyone's Face

Eat the Last Few Pigs in a Blanket

Pop Twelve White Grapes

Burn Something

Smash Things Against a Wall

Spontaneously Begin an Irish Jig

Call Your Mother

Throw a Coffee Table Out a Window

Sing "Auld Lang Syne" at the Top of Your Lungs

Do Some Squats

Swan Dive into a Nearly Freezing Body of Water

Take a Shot

Time to be merry and bright.

"First Noel" by Leslie Odom, Jr

"A Holly Jolly Christmas" by Burl Ives

"Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" by Kelly Clarkson

"All I Want for Christmas Is You" by Mariah Carey

"Christmas (Baby Please Come Home" by Michael Buble

"Last Christmas" by Taylor Swift

"The Christmas Song" by Josh Groban

"White Christmas" by Idina Menzel

"O Holy Night" by David Archuleta

"Believe" by Josh Groban

"Les cloches du hameau" by Celine Dion

Or at least try to do.

1. I will wake up (sorta) on time for class.

2. I will look decent for class.

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4. I will go to the library and study more.

5. I will meet new people.

For those long nights that turn into mornings when the struggle is real.

1. Walk in motivated and ready to rock

2. Disappointed you let it get this bad

3. Distracted: When a 10-Minute Break Becomes an Hour

4. When the Yearning for Sleep Sneaks Up

5. In the words of Lorelai Gilmore "Coffee, Coffee, Coffee"

Oh, so done.

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