It does not matter how long my parents have been divorced. Every day, I continue to struggle with going back and forth between two different people who live in two different places and have two different mindsets.
Just because I now visit two separate places does not mean that I enjoy getting "double the presents" and seeing who "has the most money." Since when were my parents in competition with each other? I do not care about how much stuff I get for my birthday or Christmas. In fact, it is just a reminder of the crazy situation that I live in.
And what is this "break" from a parent that people speak of? Just because I live two hours away from one parent, that does not mean I get a break from them. I have a cellphone and a Facebook and can still talk to them. Sometimes, both of these tools are not used to a positive advantage. I often get calls from one parent about some drama that is being started with the other parent, and no matter how hard I try to pull myself from it, I cannot. See why there is no break? They are my parents. There is no escaping them.
Both of my parents have made mistakes in life. Yes, I have been upset with them for them. Yes, I have been angry. Yes, they have heard me tell them how disappointed I am in them. However, that does not mean I do not love them. It is very hard to not love and care about someone that brought you into the world. There are times where I get so angry that I cannot find the words to say to them, but that does not make me love them any less.
This divorce has not only been hard on just me. My siblings have also been affected by this in some way, but I cannot speak for either of them. We have experienced this situation in different ways, and none of our feelings should be considered invalid due to our ages.
I am not just like my mom or just like my dad. I am me. Of course, I do carry some of their personality traits and genes with me, but I am not exactly like one or the other. I am my own person, and that is something I wish everyone would understand the most. This is my life, not my parents'. I can be anyone I want to be and I have plenty of time to do it. Just give me a moment to show you. I promise that you will be satisfied with who I grow up to become.
Sincerely,
The Child With Divorced Parents
